slender ;; {d.h. + p.l}

0.3

{{ baby you light up my world like nobody else ; the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed ; but when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell ; you don't know ; oh, oh ; you don't know you're beautiful ; if only you saw what I can see ; you'd understand why I want you so desperately ; right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe; you don't know; oh, oh; you don't know you're beautiful ; oh, oh ; that's what makes you beautiful }}

dan's pov

"sup hoes." i looked down at my hoes in my hoe palace in the middle of the woods. by hoes i didn't mean gardening equipment by the way just to clarify for your information. hoe palace would be a good name for a gardening centre but this was actually my evil lair where i put my kidnapped hoe children.

why did i do this? 

well im not like the other boys. i am monster. i always knew i was different: freakishly tall, freakishly pale, always wearing black, had an aura of death, had long black tentacles, you know the like. 

so when i was 12 and everyone from school found a website i made and took the piss out of me for it, i faked my own suicide and ran away to live in the woods where i kidnapped horrible bullying little shit children and made them become my hoe slaves.

it was okay because i was white and had mental health issues so i could just say that and get away with all kinds of murder without serious consequences.

i got bullied really bad ok when i was 11 they thought i had anorexia so they called me slenderdan and that name has haunted me ever since. but recently i discovered tumblr and decided to reclaim that slur and i am now the slenderdan, i'm a nasty ass hoe monster living in your local woods and kidnapping ur little shit children. fucking deal with it. I'm edgy ok.

don't kinkshame me.

"please don't kill us." one of the children i had kidnapped said. he had a voice like someone had stuck a drainpipe up his asshole. it was really annoying.

"shut the fuck up alfie. you deserved this for bullying my senpai." i told him and looked around at the other children i had kidnapped.

there was charlieskies who was once relevant many eons ago and was a bit shady to phil in 2009. there was marcus butler. he is alfie's best friend so he's a dickhead by association. there is also zoella, who is alfie's girlfriend. there was also the worst one of them all, libby minshall who attempted to kidnap phil once.

well how do you like it now libby? u got fucking kidnapped by the slenderdan. didn't see that coming did u bitch? rekt m8.

anyway well u want to know why I'm doing this?

the other day i discovered the meaning of my dark depressing life - my senpai philip mehcial lester

he is so emo and beautfil and i only want good for him in life so i plan to kill everyone who ever hurt him. i hope one day he will love me even though i am this monster. even though i am the slenderdan

and i just hate how he doesnt know he's beautiful. smiling at the ground. its what makes him beautiful.

i even left love notes around my forest for home, hoping they would lure him in.

but i know its just a dream of mine. i t would never happen.

but suddenly, i felt something. 

was phil lester in the woods???

i had to teleport away from my hoe palace to find out

"later hoes." i said to alfie and his crew before evaporating.