Shattered Portrait (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter Three

March was not really a busy month. It was considered off season for the catering business, we only really got jobs for birthday parties, which was surprisingly not often. The most important thing to do in March, for me, was plan my baby's birthday party.

I sat at the kitchen table, the laptop my mother had shipped me for Christmas sitting on the table in front of me. The boys were on either side of me were doing their homework in the late afternoon light coming through the window. Luke was carefully tracing the number five in a notebook with his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. He always did this while he was concentrating. JJ was doing a couple of math problems, tapping his foot repeatedly underneath the table.

I slightly closed the computer and looked at my youngest son. Merely four years old now, but in a couple weeks he would be five. Where had the time gone? It was slipping away too quickly. Soon he wouldn't be my baby anymore, I wouldn't be able to get away with calling him that anymore.

"Hey, Lukey." I smiled at him, putting my chin in my hands and my elbows on the table.

The child instantly looked up upon hearing his name, dragging the attention of JJ as well.

"What would you like to do for your birthday?"

The child shrugged lazily, twisting his pencil in between his fingers, "I dunno. I want to go see the dinosaurs again."

He was speaking of the dinosaurs in the museum that Jack and I had taken the boys to for JJ's sixth birthday last year. JJ had just wanted a birthday party with the four of us, nothing too big and he wanted it to be at this gigantic dinosaur museum that had scale model animatronics of the dinosaurs and a playground of plastic bones. The kids had the option to go digging in sand or diving in water for bones that the workers had planted to make the kids feel like they were actually helping to find a new species. It had been a fun thing to do for even Jack and I, who were certainly not on good terms at the time.

"If you want to do that we can do-"

"No, you cannot do that. I did that for my birthday last year, Luke." JJ huffed angrily, looking up from his homework. "You always want to copy me, you copy cat"

"Jack," I warned, giving him a sideways glance, "this is Luke's day and we're going to do what he wants to do."

Luke sat in his chair with a thoughtful look on his face. He had barely heard his brother's insult aimed at him. His blonde hair that was starting to turn brown fell into his face and he pushed it back swiftly without moving his eyes from their spot on the table.

"I want to go to a baseball game," he finally said, leaning backwards with his back against the chair with a smile on his face.

It was a strange request, seeing as Luke wasn't really into sports. Lately he had been getting into it just because of his father and JJ. I think he has been feeling left out whenever he went to his father's house. There had always been a slight disconnect with Jack and Luke. I'm not saying that Jack doesn't love Luke unconditionally, it's just that Jack was always closer to his eldest son. They had had more time to bond, more alone time with each other. Luke never got that time, being the second child and all. He's just trying to catch up with his brother and earn that time with his father as well.

I was about to agree to the baseball game when JJ slammed his hand on the table with an angry look on his face.

"Luke! You know Dad was going to take us to see a baseball game with Angie the weekend after your birthday! Stop trying to take his ideas!"

I was as angry as JJ was, but not because of Luke. It was because JJ was yelling at Luke for no reason, because for some reason he thought it was okay to start being mean to his younger brother.

I should have started yelling at him, I should have scolded or reprimanded him. I should have sent him to his room, I should have grounded him. But I didn't, because of the name that was in his sentence. It was a name that I hadn't heard before, and I was interested.

As soon as I had opened my mouth to start yelling, I closed again, in shock.

"Who's Angie?" I questioned when I calmed down a little.

"Dad's new girlfriend." JJ shrugged, relieved that he wasn't going to get into trouble.

My heart skipped a beat and then started racing, jogging and then running and then sprinting. My heart was running a marathon and it felt like it was going to jump up through my throat and out of my mouth.

Jack had a new girlfriend? Jack? Whom I had been with since high school? Three months seemed really fast to move on after being together for years. What was she like? What did she look like? That was the important question. Was she young, fresh out of high school? Was she really pretty? She's probably blonde. Angie sounds like a blonde's name. Angie, the young, blonde, and pretty woman that is now in my ex-basically-husband's life.

"Oh, his new girlfriend," I repeated, nodding my head slightly. I bit the inside of my cheek, deep in thought. "Have you guys met her?"

"Yup," Luke replied, looking at me from the corner of his eye. He was concerned. Something in my tone of voice gave me away.

"What's she like?"

I swallowed hard. I probably wasn't ready to hear the answer, but I wanted to know. I needed to know. I needed to know if I was better than her. Or, of course, the alternative: if she was better than me.

"She's nice," Luke replied vaguely, not wanting to give too much away.

"She's a ballerina!" JJ exclaimed, completely invested in the conversation. "She showed us a part of her dance last time we were at Dad's house! She has a motorcycle, too!"

Oh, so she's a soft badass. Perfect.

Luke was staring at JJ from across the table. JJ was staring back in my silence. I didn't have anything else to say on the topic out loud to my kids. But, I knew that I'd have something to say to Greta and Rose at work. I knew I'd have something to say to Jack the next time he picked up the kids or the next time I dropped them off.

I knew I shouldn't have been dwelling the situation, but I couldn't help it. I hadn't thought about moving on yet, but I know if I had I would have felt bad. If Jack had moved on already and didn't feel bad, why should I feel bad? I had no reason to feel bad. I wouldn't feel bad.

Or, I'd at least try to not feel bad. That is, if I could even get back into the dating scene.