As Usual: Phan Three-Shot (boyxboy)

Silence

Chapter 2: Silence (Phil centric)

Dan had a habit of talking to the videos as he watched. May it be commentary or just silly one-sided rants, he always did this. A quirky little trait.

Phil had a habit of being quiet. He did not like useless commentary when he was the one commenting. He preferred to listen to his flatmate's funny exclamations and maybe even share a little laugh.

Phil recalled one specific hilarious occasion that involved cereal and peanut butter. It was morning and Dan and Phil were sitting at the table eating breakfast. They were eating cereal (as usual), yet the table was also set with knives, bread, Nutella, strawberry jam and peanut butter.

"Oh, shit!" Dan exclaimed, snapping his fingers with a disappointed and shocked expression. Phil, alarmed, quickly swallowed his spoonful of cereal before responding to his friend's distressed state. "What?!" he inquired.

Dan did not reply for he was marching to his bedroom in a hurry with a speed that would put Grant Gustin to shame, mumbling whispered profanities directed to himself. As he came back, earphones were plugged into his ears and his phone was in his right hand, held horizontally and silently telling Phil that Dan was watching a video. Dan's left hand clumsily reached for his spoon and he shoved some (lactose-free) milk-doused Lucky Charms into his mouth. Dan's brown eyes were intensely concentrated on this precious and running-worthy video, whatever it was.

Phil bet it was Kanye.

Thirty seconds later, Dan was grinning and chuckling. Phil had already finished his own bowl of cereal and was now sipping a glass of orange juice, watching Dan watch a video.

Whatever the hell that video was, Phil felt quite motivated to prank Dan. Whether it was the orange juice, the cereal, the fact that it was only 10:08 AM, or Dan jogging to his bedroom, Phil was super inspired to play a prank. I mean, pranking wasn't really something Phil would usually do for fun. This opportunity was too grand to waste. Phil was in the mood and Dan was distracted.

The black-haired male already had a prank in mind. It was hilarious yet easily done. After Dan put down his empty spoon into the bowl, Phil grabbed it immediately and scooped some peanut butter onto the utensil, Dan completely and pathetically oblivious to the deceit. Of course, what had happened next was quite obvious. Phil being inherently quiet really paid off for those precious five seconds of Dan realising the betrayal done to him by his best friend. Dan being totally engrossed in something did not really help him that much except for the ten-second running montage that served as his exercise for the day.

Anyway, back to the current story.

Dan was sat at the dining area, on the orange chair (as usual), and Phil was sat on the sofa. They both had their laptops in front of them and coffee mugs somewhere near. Dan was typing something, probably a video-related thing, and Phil was watching cat videos on YouTube with his earphones plugged in.

What? It was educational as his job was YouTube.

Phil was worried about Dan quite a bit today. Firstly, Dan wasn't talking as much. They see each other everyday but they never run out of things to say, especially Dan as he always had some witty comment ready for everything. Secondly, Dan was glued to his laptop since this morning. He was off typing away without asking for Phil's opinion (which leads back to reason #1). He had always asked for Phil's opinion, even on little things! What made this so different?

Phil stole a glance at Dan and frowned. The brunet had his eyebrows furrowed, and his lips were in the slightest of pouts. Something was definitely bothering him.

As always, Phil kept silent.

Without Dan's little comments to balance it out, the room was too quiet, too lonely.

After the video finished, Phil swept his finger over the trackpad to click on the next one.

"You can't hear me right now."

Phil blinked. Dan was speaking. He was finally putting the balance back in the atmosphere, but he didn't know that Phil could hear every word. His voice, this sound, was different for it wasn't meant for his ears. It was the sacred truth, and Phil felt like he was eavesdropping on a conversation between Dan and his self.

"I know you can't. Maybe if I say it out loud, I will realise how incredibly stupid I am. How idiotic I am...for..."

Dan stopped, and the world turned horribly monotone again. But Phil waited as he always did for Dan to put back the splashes of colour into his world. The slight colours that he treasured and loved.

"...for...falling for my best friend."

Phil bit his lip, forcibly keeping his own words to himself.

Listen silently, as you always do.

"I am so scared. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm betraying you. I'm betraying everything you've given me."

What? No!

"You've sacrificed so much for my well-being-- your time, words, effort, money, dignity, everything. And me? What have I given? Half the rent? Bullshit."

Liar.

"I'm a bullshit friend and an even more bullshit person."

Not true.

"You don't deserve me as a friend, let alone a best friend."

You're perfect the way you are, don't be apologetic for being yourself.

"And what, now I'm dreaming of being your boyfriend? How selfish, right?"

NO.

Phil frowned. He blinked and tilted his head, not able to keep still like a statue any longer, not able to play deaf to the shouts of his friend. Everything Dan was saying did not make any sense. Everything was wrong, so wrong.

But Phil did not say anything.

As always, Phil kept silent.