Not guilty

Chapter 3

Recap:

Ryder seemed deep in thought "Hey, can I ask you a question?" I nodded my head to say it was alright.

"Why are you here?" Even though I have been here for almost two and a half years, I still froze every time somebody asked me that. I was fine by telling them that I'm here because of false accusations but that usually leads me to think about the people that left me struggling all alone. And even after two years I wasn't ready to face my biggest and most hurtful part of my heart.

"That's a story for another time"

He smiled in understanding and sat on his bed.

"But I'm going to tell you why I'm here anyways. It started with..."

***

Tuesday - 24.04 - 11.00

"...A ten year old me. We were a happy family. Me, my mom, my dad and my twin brother. We were really close, us kids never hiding things from our parents. They were really free-spirited/mid aged teens and although it was fun at first as me and my brother got older it started to get irritating. They started going out a lot, leaving me with my brother to take care of our house, ourselves and afterwards them. One night, instead of our parents, police knocked on our door,"

Okay, I knew where this was going but at the same time I didn't dare to interrupt.

"They said that our parents had been killed in a car crash and the other driver who hit them managed to escape. Mom and dad were drunk so they hadn't fastened their seat belts making death come fast. They were so stupid but we couldn't stop them from having a lifestyle that they wanted. My aunt Jackie came to look after us. Widow herself you would think that she could handle two mourning teenagers but no. So you now that everyone has a different method for dealing with death,"

I nodded, although I think he meant it more as a rhetorical question.

"My brother focused on studying all the time. He barely talked with me because he was so busy having his nose in a book. It looked as I was taking the biggest hit. Me and my brother used to be one, and suddenly we were nothing. He seemed to have erased me from his life. So I changed. I turned to who I am today. I basically stopped coming to my house much to my aunts dismay.  But soon she stopped caring. I went from that cute and friendly boy to an absolute nightmare. I got into the wrong crowd, I made many foolish decisions, I started lying a lot. I was a pathological liar, lied for no reason to everyone for my own pleasure. I was going mad after a time. I was like blind but saw everything so clearly. It was like I was on drugs the whole time. Doctors still don't know how to call my condition. In their opinion post-traumatic stress was too light. So I'm the guy with a shitload of problems and no solution."

I may be an asshole for saying that but I kind of was jealous of him. At least he wasn't accused of doing something he hadn't done. He wasn't here for no reason. He was here to heal while I was here because my parents had a bit more money than the average so I wasn't sent to jail. But nobody cares anyway. By now I had realized that I had been quiet for too long so clearing my throat I decided to offer him my condolences.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry for your loss because that wouldn't help anyway but I will tell you that I'm here if you need to talk. Although sometimes I'm in group therapy of private sessions so I'm not available all the time but you get the point,"

I saw  Ryder nodding and he offered me a smile. Cute. 

We hanged in our room for a while and then it was time for lunch. Somehow I managed to turn from happy Phoenix into an very angry and bad mood Phoenix with less then an hour. It was a record. So instead of skipping to the cafeteria I dragged my legs behind.