ROUHI

three

Saaqib hadn't gone to his store again.

"I'm going to Rasheed's. He got a new wife."

Hafsa's sudden stopping of rolling the roti went unnoticed. "A new wife? Didn't he get married six months ago?" Saaqib just hummed in reply as he put on his sandals and left.

Hafsa's worries rose. She had been fearing Saaqib wanting to marry a second wife, and now that his friend had married a third wife, he could consider remarriage too. It wasn't like Hafsa could stop him, or even would try to. She would live with her cowife peacefully, lovingly. But there would be countless nights when she would just stare at the night sky, wondering where she went wrong in her companionship.

***

"Saaqib, please don't take it."

"I have to."

"Please, Saaqib. That-that was your first gift to me."

"The show-piece is costly and -"

"When will you stop betting? What do you get from this? You lose more money than you gain. Isn't it time to stop? You've given away many of my utensils too. And-and betting is wrong anyways. You shouldn't-"

"I have to get money to feed your mouth, okay? The store isn't doing well."

"Saaqib-"

He had marched out of the main gate already, clutching what was left of their shared gifts. Hafsa gulped down. She remembered the first day of their marriage, Saaqib had taken her to the yearly fair nearby and bought her a show-piece. It was the model of a pretty girl in a pink dress sitting on a swing, flowers in one hand, a gleeful smile on her face. It wasn't just its beautiful simplicity that got Hafsa attached to it, but it was the first thing Saaqib had gifted her, his wife. She valued his gifts too much, maybe even more now that she got none left.

***

Hafsa was trying her best to push Saaqib back by his chest so he couldn't leave the house. "I won't let you go. Not again! We nearly starved last week! All because you betted all of your money away."

Saaqib had had enough of her stupid fighting. He grabbed her wrists and pushed her up against the wall, pressing his hip harshly against hers. Hafsa winced in pain, her eyes closing. She was still struggling in his hold but Saaqib was much stronger. "Can't you just keep your mouth shut? Do you think I do this because I like it? What I earn at the store is not enough for us anymore, especially with that huge appetite you've got. I'm surprised how you're not obese yet. And stop nosing into my business. I'm trying to make us survive."

Hafsa ignored the rude comment. "Then work harder! Advertise your store. Let me work somewhere, sell my sarees and jewellery. You'll get all the money you want!"

"There's no need for going through all that bullsh*t when I can just bet on something and earn. You just cook and clean, I'm providing for you so be a grateful and obedient wife."

Saaqib let go of Hafsa and turned to walk away, when Hafsa held his right arm and pulled hopelessly. "Please, Saaqib, please. I'm begging you. Gambling is wrong, it's so wrong." If the Saaqib from two years ago had seen her pleading him this way, he would've killed himself for causing her such distress. Sadly, that was the Saaqib of the past.

Saaqib roughly freed his arm and walked away, Hafsa screaming behind him. "If you leave now-"

"What will you do?!" Saaqib yelled back, startling Hafsa who backed further into the wall. "Kill yourself?" That look of utter anger, annoyance, and probably hatred on his face sent shivers down her back. "You and I both know that it's an empty threat. How can you commit suicide, Hafsa? Isn't that a major sin? What happened to being religious?" He was mocking her now. They kept looking at each other for a few moments more, one roaring with frustration, another dripping with sorrow.

Hafsa waited as they stared at each other. Maybe he would see it in her eyes - the pain, the love, the desire to guide her husband back to the right path. Maybe he would understand what she was doing and why, for whose benefit.

But it was an expected result. Saaqib left without another word.