Wizards and Loneliness (Erisol) *DISCONTINUED*

I

The rules of the dare were simple.
'1. You may not contact anyone unless they contacted you first.
2. You may not ask others to hang out; They must invite you.
3. You may not remind them of your birthday. They must remember themselves.'
The troll hadn't taken it as too much as an intimidation, after all he was improving on his attitude. The first two rules wouldn't be a problem, he had friends. Right? The third one was a different case, not reminding people of birthdays? It's easy to forget a specific number among 32 people. But alas, he still didn't let it intimidate him. After all, highbloods must hold up a certain mindset. However, it was peculiar for the third rule to be set in place. The troll accepted the dare set to him by his closest friend. He then smiled, and began to wait.

Eridan Ampora sat in his chair, frowning as he checked his computer once more. "Still nothin'." He mumbled, looking through the contacts on his Trollian. It's been a week since the dare was in place, and the only contact he has had from people is a few things Feferi needed from him and a few slip ups from Karkat. He stood up, sighing and looking around, trying to find his usual cape and scarf. It was quite chilly where everyone decided to settle down, which was much to the disliking of Feferi. Cold weather meant no oceans, and as a sea-dweller she did not like that. Eridan didn't mind, as he spent most of his time on land anyways. He hummed softly to himself, his dimly lit hive not providing nearly enough light to find what he needed. He looked outside, seeing that it was still a little bit light out. "I might as wwell go to the store.. I'm out of almost evverythin'." The troll slowly walked out of his hive, not seeing much else other than some of his neighbours. One of them, a nice girl named Roxy, waved to him like she usually did. They were quite good friends, though they were bad at keeping in touch online. "Heyyyyyy!" Roxy grinned, looking at Eridan and smiling. "Guess whaaaat?" From the tone of voice, Eridan could tell it was something major. He smiled, already getting an idea of what it was as he walked over to Roxy. "Wwhat is it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and slicking back his hair once more. The troll paused, quietly calculating something in his head as he tapped on his thigh, using it as a mechanism to remember. "I haven't had a drink since we moved here." She exclaimed with a proud look on her face. Eridan seemed happy, knowing how hard it is to beat an addiction. "I'm vvery proud of you. It's a big achievvement, you should be proud as wwell." With that, they both parted ways as the highblood continued to walk to the store. He mostly god things for food, getting distracted and buying a few more things he thought people would like. Things had been looking up for him since the game. Feferi forgave him, Sollux and him were kind of getting along, and he had two of his quadrants filled.  He still didn't have a Kismisis, nor did he have a Matesprite, but he really couldn't care less. He was happy with his current quadrants, and they were happy with him.
The day went well, he enjoyed talking to cashiers and friends along the way home. He was utterly exhausted though, which seemed normal for working so hard. He checked his computer, seeing a message from Karkat.
'CG: HEY DUDE, I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHAT MUCH BECAUSE SOME FUCKING HOOFBEAST NOOKSUCKER BROKE MY COMPUTER.
CG: I HAVE TO USE SOLLUX'S. ANYWAY, THATS ALL I WANTED TO SAY. I'LL PROBABLY TALK EVENTUALLY.
"Well, that certainly isn't good for me, Evven if Karkat isn't my Moirail, I alwways go to Karkat to sort out my problems, tryin to deal with them rationally." He mumbled quietly, frowning.
'CA: no wworries kar'
That was a lie.
He had worries. Fef hadn't contacted him in a while anyway. She went to Sollux for help now. She dropped in to say hi every so often, but it wasn't for long. The dare took a lot out of him, watching as close friends never spoke to him. It reminded him of before, when Feferi didn't want to be moirails. It made him feel weak and below others. As if he didn't deserve to call people anything more than acquaintances. Man did he hate that feeling. A small memory floated into his mind, causing him to close out of Trollian without looking at Karkat's reply.
"There is a fine line between favouring being alone and being lonely, Eridan."
He could never remember who said that to him, but he didn't think he would want to know anyway. He favoured being alone, he liked to stay by himself instead of being in big groups or being with people all day. He didn't like loneliness. Loneliness provokes hidden thoughts and behaviours that could make even the most stoic man cry. Loneliness was dark nights alone with no one to talk to, no one to turn to help with your problems. Loneliness is a feeling of absolute zero, knowing you've lost everything. It creates paranoia and panic. Being alone is vastly different. Being alone is easily combated. Loneliness is not. Eridan Ampora was not alone. Eridan Ampora was lonely. He was lonely and no one could fix that feeling, nor could they fix the feeling of hopelessness that came with it.
Finally escaping from his thoughts, Eridan paused. His scarf felt wet, and he slowly realised he was crying. How much time had passed since he pondered the line between loneliness and being alone, he didn't know. He personally didn't want to find out either. Giving a small sigh was all he could do as he slowly wiped his tears away, quietly pitying himself. "Wwell, I havve no plans util I need to go shoppin again." He mumbled out, looking around his hive as he tried to find something to do. A light appeared on his laptop, causing him to breath a sigh of relief. He saw that it was Feferi, and he immediately clicked on it. Not reading her message just yet, he began to type out how he felt lonely, and how his mind was in a bad place. Before he hit send, he finally looked up at what Fef had said.
He soon deleted his message.
'CC: ) (------EY -ERIDAN!! I'm so ) (appy ) (ow our mourallegiance is going!! It's been soo long since you last stressed me out wit) ( all of your silly little problems!!
CC: Eridan?'
He quietly closed his laptop, setting his head on the desk. "Silly, huh." He mumbled, not noticing the troll that had happened to be strolling by the other's hive. The troll heard a bit of commotion, backtracking and raising an eyebrow as he attempted to look through the window. Ampora hadn't contacted him in a while, and he missed their fights and quarrels. He frowned, only seeing a dimly lit hive. Figuring there was no harm in just leaving, he departed back to his brother's house. The young captor had to stay there while Mituna was off on his honeymoon, seeing how the troll had so many bees and plants it was hard to count. Nevertheless, Sollux Captor had begrudgingly agreed to take care of the house. However, as he was walking home he didn't seem to hear the small crash, or even the loud sobs of a certain troll's hive.
Violet liquid slowly cascaded down in an all to familiar pattern. Winter was the only favourable thing in this god forsaken planet. A window that was previously opened allowed a draft of frigid air to sweep in, numbing the pain and the stinging sensation. Soon enough, the sensation stopped and all that was left was a certain numbness. With this passing, the violet blooded troll just stared quietly, watching the purple-hued blood clot on his legs. He had written, or rather carved, a certain word. The word had been running through his mind constantly, causing his silence and relapse
"Loneliness." A voice whispered, causing Eridan to pause, a small whimper to escape his mouth, his walls seeming to close in. He had felt as if all of his hope was destroyed, and all it took was one message and a bit of overthinking. "Destruction of hope, huh?" He gave a dry chuckle, looking at his walls. "Ironic." He then muttered, his expression changing for a brief moment, flashing anger.