Hueco Mundo High School

Critic

Well why not? I'm in between editing and writing some Marvel fanfics (all of which will be posted if you ask) and heck I want you all to know what I was thinking about this story after so long. So let's go!

Characters

Don't get me started on their abilities, but let's breakdown Cheyenne since she's the main character (even though I was supposed to have her sister in this)

Name: Cheyenne Urahara (Aizen)
Age: 20 (don't know why)
Gender: female
Height: 5'9 (also don't know why)
Zanpakto: Fenix (ugh)
Abilities (don't know why she has a zanpakto then): "You stole Spider-Man's style, and Snakeyes's weapon. You got Wolverine's powers man your comic sloppy seconds." (Epic Ran Battles of History Deadpool vs Boba Fett)
What went wrong?: many things. A prime example I shudder whenever I mention it, where I have her do it with Gin and claim it as rape. What the hell I made her a fricking b****h and her hair and eyes why blue and Amber? I smack my younger self the colors were so unnatural and having her be Aizen's sister. No not yet. And why did I give her a weapon if she had Wolverine's powers, and then I ignored them after!

Name: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques
Age: 22 (wtf)
Gender: male
Height: 6'1 (that's according to Tite Kubo)
Zanpakto: Pantera (he doesn't have one pantera is his release form)
Abilities: none (good)
What went wrong?: I can only complain so much here goes. He's not 22 he's really old, I wouldn't be surprised if he was as old Rukia. He's not a sweet heart, in fact we don't even know how he would be with a lover all we know is he's rude and very very sassy.

I can't do the others, seriously the only one I believe I did right would possibly be Ulquiorra. I even ruined Byakuya. Byakuya of all people!

Plot

The plot, well the concept of the author's universe where they are all in school is interesting, the character development is horrible. She was so powerful I was going to have her weakness be she can only eat flesh thank God I didn't or else you all would be commenting now saying "she's like Tokyo Ghoul!" The story is a treasure the problem is simple, like most stories I have that involves the main heroines being siblings, I either kill one off and center around the other. To be fair, the idea of this isn't all bad. In fact I might just scrap this story and recreate it and do it the right way for you all add some memories from the anime and the manga, then even have references.

So, I'm giving my book sadly a 2/5