**Warning: This is depressing and mentions suicide. I'm sorry.**
You know... To the people who think life is all just a happy little road trip, I say only one thing. They've never cried.
Now I don't mean tears of joy. When someone tells you they love you. When you're so grateful you could die. When you get everything you've ever wanted or when the people you care about get it.
No.
I'm talking about the tears that come with pain. The tears that come with the knowledge that you've messed everything up. When you're past the point of feeling numb. You have to fake pain because it's what you think you'd be feeling. When you realize that everyone you love... Their suffering is on you. They could have been happy a little bit longer but you messed everything up. One little mistake is all it takes. It's the worst feeling in the world... Knowing you've unintentionally ruined someone else's happiness.
Tears of pain are hot. They burn your eyes when you cry. They make you feel disgusting. Like you're the dirt of the Earth. No one can say anything to change your mind, because you think it... Not them. I don't care what anyone says. Tears hurt and burn like fire. They make you feel weak. They make you feel pathetic. And for me? Well. No one bothers to wipe them away... And I don't because they hurt. Because they make me feel. But now... Now, I'm thinking maybe tears aren't enough. I wish I could go somewhere where no one could find me. I could rid myself of this cruel world, this cruel reality, these cruel people... And sit in numb darkness. Maybe I would go insane... But right now, that seems like a pretty good alternative.
Goodbye, to those who actually love me, if such people actually exist. I don't mean to be selfish. I don't mean to hurt anyone. I just want it to end... It hurts so badly. Smile for me, okay? Smile and be happy. I'm sorry that I couldn't do the same.
Goodbye, to a world with demented views. You objectify people, and make them into something they are not. You make people feel bad about themselves, and for what? Money? Power? Such things do not matter when you're dead.
Goodbye, to reality. You hurt. You make me feel the pain of truth. I know I do not matter, in such a big world. No one knows my name. No one knows who I am. No one ever will. I will be forgotten soon. People move on, which is no surprise. Our memories are fragile. Our memories are easily broken. Thank you for making me realize this ahead of time... And giving me the strength to do what I will.
Should I even apologize? I don't know. Who will miss me when I am gone? Maybe I don't want to leave, but... This place is unbearable. I am not fit to live in a harsh world, and those who are not fit must die. I suppose I am sorry for most things... But not sorry for my end. My life is not mine to take... But I will be selfish one last time.
Goodbye, and for those who find my last message, I pray you have fared better than I.
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Poetry, A Rap, And Other Tomfoolery
De Todo(Unknown) I'll probably just post random things that I've written that will mostly have to do with Homestuck, but aren't limited to that. Some of it might be actual fanfics or works in progress that I'm not sure I'll ever finish [If you've read or k...
