Oreshi-niichan & Bokushi-niichan

Kuroko Kiss Challenge feat. Idiocy

It was a Thursday afternoon, 4 p.m. which meant that the first string players and regulars of the Teikou Basketball Team were having their practice in the first string gym.

Correction. The first string players were practicing. The regulars, including Aomine, Murasakibara, Midorima and Haizaki were - for once - deep in a heated conversation initiated by the curious purple-haired center after asking one of the most vital questions mankind had ever asked.

"Ne, what does Kuro-chin taste like?"

As if on instinct, everybody in hearing range froze.

Aomine spat out his drink.

Midorima's glasses cracked.

Nijimura decided that the candy addict manchild had finally snapped and was two seconds away from calling a psych ward.

Haizaki was frantically looking over his shoulder to check if a certain pair of redheaded homicidal maniacs were standing behind him.

"Murasakibara, what are you saying nanodayo!" Midorima admonished him, a flush hitting the tips of his ears at the question.

The overly-relaxed giant simply gave him a bored stare while munching on some vanilla flavoured Pocky.

"Kuro-chin drinks vanilla shake all the time...and always eats the vanilla pancakes that Aka-chin makes for him...so will Kuro-chin taste like vanilla if I ~chu him?"

Of course he won't taste like vanilla nanodayo! Or will he? Wait, what am I thinking!? It's not like I'm curious or anything...

Fuck, I bet Tetsu tastes good...

This should be friggin' interesting...I get to steal something from all four of 'em if I play my cards right...and if I don't get caught by that fucking scary demon duo...and whadda fuck was up with that ~chu, Atsushi!?

Oh Haizaki, you adorable little schemer you.

And then Nijimura - of all people - actually started to look visibly bothered by the question and was at the moment torn between telling them to 'break it up before Seijuurou kills all of us for slacking' and 'fuck, how does Kuroko taste like?'

"Niji-chin...you're blushing..."

The first string senpais all turn to look at the 'supposedly only sane man amongst the regulars' in deadpan disbelief while the Rainbow Captain flinches and recoils from their heated stares.

"How about we find out then?" Haizaki asked slyly, actually ecstatic at the thought of stealing the invisible player's lips before anyone else. Especially from that asshole Nijimura.

Yeah, he sees you Nijimura you closet ass pervert.

Aomine glared daggers at the silver-haired copycat, crushing the empty plastic water bottle in his grip like some badass.

"Lay a hand on Tetsu and I'll fucking kill you."

Haizaki merely scoffed and shot his Sleazy Smile #3 at the rest of the regulars sans Nijimura, who was currently having an internal conflict regarding his questionably immoral feelings for his adorable teal-haired junior.

"What, Daiki? Scared that Tetsuya won't let you kiss him despite being such good friends?"

STAB!

Aomine currently had a metaphorical knife shot through his heart.

"Or is it that our dear Tetsuya has already friendzoned you?"