The Last Spring Starflower a/k/a The Summer We All Fell out of Love

Part 5: Anger

The door was unlocked. I saw the scene inside, and at that point wasn't shocked. If anything, things were starting to make more sense now. We were all frozen for a while, except for G, who was trying to put his clothes back on frantically. It was my first time seeing naked male bodies in person. I could see kiss marks all over their skin. Both of them looked beautiful.I could not help but to stare for a moment or two before looking away, flushed and embarrassed by my own behavior. It was such an intimate act between them and I felt horrible about interrupting it.

The brother was beet red. S started to yell angry, broken sentences in both of their directions. He was cursing a lot. Actually, he was starting to sound like a madman, shaking with his whole body while screaming incomprehensible things. His brother was trying to calm him down. I was still replaying everything I saw and heard in my mind. I was pretty much useless, but if I hadn't given them a heads up, we would have walked in on them right in the act, I was sure. This way we only saw them awkwardly trying to cover up and get away from each other as fast as they could. It was still a lot to process, especially for S.

His best friend and his brother are sleeping together? They are partners, lovers, what are they? Are they dating? How long has this been going on? I could see all of those questions on his face, for I was thinking them as well. S had a scary expression when he stopped his verbal attacks. Him being quiet was even worse than him raising his voice. Everybody knew that. Opposite of what happened with his brother, all color left S's face. I wasn't sure if he was going to pass out or murder somebody.

I wanted to say something to break the tension, but all sense left me. I could not find the words to form a sentence. I guess I was worried about what was going to happen next and could not mutter a word for some time. Whatever happened, I wanted to protect everybody involved as much as I could. I was worried for S, but also for his brother and G. My other best friend looked so hurt and vulnerable observing us from the other side of the door. He seemed very much afraid. I wanted to give him a hand and comfort him, but I dared not to move.

I suppose we all looked so awkward, standing there, at the old wooden door, staring at each other from opposite directions. I felt like an intruder in the situation, like I was not supposed to be there for the conversation that was undoubtedly going to happen.

S started to move. He tried to get inside of his brother's room. He was shaking again, clearly from anger and frustration. His brother tried pushing him out and I threw myself at his back and clung to him. Being much smaller than him, I could not do much to pull him back, but I still tried. I think I whispered something along the lines of: "Please, let go" to him, but I don't remember my exact words. The door closed. The lock turned. S was still standing there.

And then it happened. The beast was unleashed. The raging monster had arrived. S was no longer there with me. Something other than him took over, I thought. This wasn't him, it was surely a demon or an evil spirit who was banging on the brother's door, threatening to break them down. I was still stuck to him. I remember I actually felt afraid of him at that moment, but I knew he would never hurt me, so I refused to let go. I held onto him like there was no tomorrow. He didn't seem to notice that I was on his back. 

I saw that the angry vein on his neck was popping. That only happened when he was about to burst. I only saw it happen two times before, and I knew what he was capable of when he was like this. Both of us were more hyperventilating than breathing. My own sweat was dripping all over him as he was still trying to open the door. No, he was going to break the door if he had to. 

I tried speaking to him. I don't know what I said to him, but I felt he didn't hear a word of it. Rapid murmurs from inside the room were making little sense to me in my state. It felt even warmer than before. His whole body was scalding hot and so was mine. I heard the lock turning once more and the door opened.

G and S's brother were all dressed. I was sure G was crying just a second before. His eyes were red, his face was wet. We all froze again. The brother looked the calmest out of us all.

"We are leaving", he said, pointing at G and himself vaguely. I noticed he spoke looking directly at me instead of his brother. I tried to nod. "Please don't follow us. We will give you time to think and consider everything."I attempted another nod, but it was hard to move my head from my position.

S stood in his place, silent. He did not move, he did not acknowledge that he understood his brother's words, but he let them pass. As I heard the front door closing, I let go of him finally and turned to face him.

I didn't know what to say. What were the right words? Is there something you should say when something like this happens? Words seemed pointless. I never experienced anything even remotely similar to the current situation. I felt I had to try to calm him down no matter what, make him see things from a different perspective. So I spoke. And I talked for a long time without receiving a single reply.

END OF PART 5