The Last Spring Starflower a/k/a The Summer We All Fell out of Love

Part 4: Fear

We were still smiling at each other like two fools in love when I heard something that I knew I shouldn't have heard. Something that I knew S heard as well. Nobody was supposed to hear that. We had no right to continue listening to it, but we both had no idea what to do or how to react. Our eyes met in confusion. 

"Of course he is at it again," I thought to myself, feeling slightly impressed. He was older than us and more experienced than both of us combined. This was nothing new to him. Unlike me, who was usually unable to walk for two hours after a mere kiss, he went all the way with the ones he liked. I envied him for being so free, when in turn fear and shame always stopped me from pursuing my interests. He was always the one who was most strong-willed among us.

"Didn't you say nobody was going to be home today?" I asked him, curling my lips into a faint smile once more. "Did your brother bring another girl home? Maybe he is going to get lucky...well luckier than you." I uttered the last part innocently, intending to sound playful. 

I remember teasing him. We always teased each other. Who knows what else would have happened between us that steaming summer afternoon, if the voices from the other room had not grown stronger, strong enough for us to hear them. Louder than before, a moan reached us. Then another. And another, and another. The moaning would not stop. It was quite obvious what was happening. I was right in my previous assumption.

S, who was still leaning over me, moved away. The moment was definitely gone. The mood had changed. We both lied silently on our backs, staring at the ceiling. I remember I started counting the green stars that were glued all over it. 23, no, 24? Probably I'm not even close to the actual number in my memory. My breathing was almost back to normal. 

"Maybe we should go outs..." I started to say, but was stopped mid-sentence. S raised a finger and pressed it to my lips as the voice of the moaning person from the other side of the wall called out a name. I realized what was happening. I knew who it was. I understood that I was also mistaken the moment before. The brother wasn't the one who was moaning. It was someone else.  

S looked like he froze in horror. I awkwardly stared at his face, awaiting some kind of a reaction. Maybe I should have said something to him back then, but I was at a loss of words. Suddenly, he jumped to his feet. He looked out of it. He was going to do something that he would live to regret, I knew it. I had to stop him.

But how? What could I have done, really? He ran out of the room and I ran after him, but I was too late. Being almost 30 centimeters taller than me, he had an advantage over me. S grabbed the handle and went on to open the door. I yelled something, I'm still not too sure what it was, but after that, everything went quiet.   

END OF PART 4