Mistake

Chapter One

There was a time where I'd sworn to stay a virgin until my wedding day. I hated the idea of even having sex before marriage, because God didn't approve of it. So why did I do it? Why did go on and sin, break God's heart? Why am I so stupid? I want a child, but not now. I wanted a child when I was old enough and married. I'm not married, and definitely not old enough.

"Ma'am?" The woman behind the counter said, pulling me from my thoughts. "3 weeks." I said. She nodded and wrote something down on the paper. "How old are you?" I looked down and mumbled, "15." "Well," she said sipping her coffee. "That's all I need from you sweetie." "Thank you." I walked out sat in the chair outside of the office. Well, here it goes. I'm pregnant. My boyfriend is no where to be found. I haven't told anyone yet. I want to talk to God about it, but I know he's is angry at me, so I don't think I should. This wouldn't have happened to me if I had just stayed home that day. But, I didn't' want to because my mother and father were fighting once again. I called Joseph and asked him If I could come hang with him until everything simmered down. Well, you sorta know what happened after. Now I'm pregnant, and I feel gross, disgusting, stupid, horrible. "Dear?" The woman from the office called, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Yes?" "Well, you can't stay out here all day. Do you need a ride home or something?" "No ma'am. I'm leaving now."  I got up and walked out the door. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I dig in my purse for my phone and try to call Joseph again. Voice mail. I decide to stop over his house this time. When I get there, his mom is mowing the lawn. "Hi Mrs. Bells!" I say. "Hi dear!" she says with a half smile. "Um is Joseph here?" She nodded and pointed in the house. "Thanks." I walk to his room and knock on the door. "Mom, I said I don't feel well!" I hear him yell in his tired voice. "Joseph," I sigh. "It's me."  I hear some stuff moving around and then he opens the door. His shirt is off and he looks like he has been sick. "Hi." He says with a smile. "Are you OK?" I shake my head, and he invites me in his room. When I go in, we sit on his bed, and I can't help but feel uncomfortable. "You are not my husband." I think to myself. "What's wrong, Violet?" He asks with concern. I breathe in, then out. "I'm..."  I pause shaking my head and squeezing my hands in fists. "Violet? Babe, what's wrong? I'm getting worried."  He says pulling me into a hug. "You're pregnant aren't you?" I look at him and nod. I stay wrapped in his arms, both of us silent. "Have you told your parents?" He asks finally. "Course not." I say pulling out of his warm embrace. "How many weeks are you?" "Three"  He nods. "Okay well at 3 months, we will tell your parents, and then I will tell mine." He says rubbing his forehead. "Okay," I say. "Three months." He smiles, pulling me into another hug. I can't return his smile though, I'm too disappointed. In us, but mostly myself. Why did you do this? Why Violet? "What's wrong, babe?" Joseph says, lookiing at me. "Hey." He says, cupping my pale cheeks in his hands. "We're gonna be OK. We're going to be great parents, don't you think?" I pause, not knowing what to say. I don't want to be a parent now, I don't like the idea of that. I see the concerned look on his face and sigh, brushing my hair behind my ear. I force the curves of my mouth into a smile and nod. "I think so." is what I said. How I really feel? No. I'm afraid he's going to leave me. I've seen lot's of those things happen to girls in the movies, I don't want it to happen to me. He kisses my forehead, rising from the bed to grab a drink from his mini fridge. "Want anything?" He asks. I shake my head. "No. I need to go, now. You know how my mom is." I say, rising and walking to the door. He smiles at me and says goodbye. Before I close the door, I hear the 'click' of the bottle of his coke. Not only did I hear that, but I heard something else. Something I probably wasn't supposed to hear. But I heard. I swallowed hard before leaving. What does he mean, 'God this is gonna suck.' I shake my head, opening the door and leaving.