The Rebellious Host | ✓

Laina

I pack quickly, but keep finding my few possessions scattered on Jamie's bed once again. Tears repeatedly blur my eyes, but I blink them back. I can't cry. I can't afford to cry. Crying would mean that I still have ties here, and I was supposed to have cut them all when I said goodbye to Jamie.

So then why do I not want to leave?

The whole thing is confusing, really- Mel and I hadn't ever been extremely close, Wanda had been nice but I didn't really know her, Jared had forgotten me long ago, I didn't know Ian very well, Jeb and I hardly talked, Kyle and I don't know each other, and Sunny seemed nice but I didn't know her well either. And Alexis and I had only known Autumn Skies and April Dawn, not Laina and Alexis. My only reason for staying had been Jamie, really.

Maybe it's that this place has been like a home for the few days- or was it weeks?- that I was here. I'm not exactly sure. It's weird- this is the first place I've ever been that I have wanted to stay.

Could it be because I've finally found my older brother, and Mel, and Jamie? And now that I know that they're all alive and happy and whatnot, I want to be with them, too? It might be it, though I doubt it. I shake my head at myself and shove my things into my backpack.

It's been a week since Jamie and the others left. I've put this off for a week. A week. I think it's time to leave. I can't just hang around here- who knows when my brother and the others will come back?

"Leaving?" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It's my imagination, they're not due back for two weeks, I'm just imagining things.

Footsteps as someone enters the room.

I shove the last shirt into the bag and pull the straps tight. I sling one strap over my shoulder and turn. "It was bound to happen sometime, Jared."

My brother crosses his arms over his chest. "You're fourteen, Laina. And they're looking for you."

I shake my head. "They don't work like us, Jared. As long as I keep a low profile, I'm good." I notice how he says I'm fourteen- my birthday must've passed. I'm surprised he remembered it. "And anyway, why would you care? You just up and left."

He sighs. "Because you're my little sister, Laina. Do you really think I want to lose you?"

I shrug. "How should I know?" 

Ian swings his head into the room. "Hey, what's- is she leaving?"

"Yes." I say at the same time as Jared says, "No." We glare at each other.

Melanie just suddenly appears. "Do you two always argue?"

"Yes." We agree.

Ian wraps his arm around Wanda, who showed up with Melanie. I notice Jamie leaning against the doorway, too. He gives me a small smile, as if he's glad to see that I'm still here. I look away from him.

"Just let her go, Jared." They all stare at Jamie. "She'll just run away in the middle of the night." he doesn't look away from me.

Jared sighs and throws his hands up in anger. "Fine. If you want to die out there, fine."

I hug him. "I'm sorry, Jared." I say. "I don't want to leave."

"Then don't. Stay here."

I shake my head. "Jamie understands- why can't you?"

"Oh, so you told Jamie but not me?" 

I nod. "I'm sorry."

He sighs. "I guess I've got to let you go sometime, right?"

I smile. "Right. Good luck with the whole rebel thing. It works for you."

He laughs. "Have fun, little sis."

I hug Melanie next, and she has a few tears but other than that holds it together. Then I hug Ian and Wanda, who say they'll  miss me despite barely knowing me. After that I hug Jamie. "I can't change your mind?" He asks.

I shake my head against his shoulder. "No." I pull back some and smile. "But be glad. You won't be stuck with me anymore."

He laughs, though I can tell that he wants to cry instead. I do, too- saying goodbye once was enough. Having him disappear without a clue once was enough. Now we're saying goodbye- and there's no doubt it's for forever.

"I'll miss you." He tells me.

"I'll miss you too." I take off a locket that my mom gave me before the Souls got her. In it is a picture of her, Dad, Jackson, Ryan, me, and Jared- not long before Jared ran away- on one side, and on the  other side is a picture of me from not long ago. "Take it. I won't need it."

He doesn't argue. Instead, he slips the gold chain into his pocket. "Goodbye, Laina."

I manage a smile. "Goodbye, Jamie." I walk out of the room.

I can feel them following me, but I don't turn around to look. I don't say anything to them. Instead, I walk until I'm outside, into the dying sunlight. The world is a mess of red and gold and tan and black and dark blue, and I turn to see Wanda and Melanie clinging to Ian and Jared, Jamie standing a little in front of the group.

I wave to him, and he waves back, smiling.

I turn my back to him, to all of them. Last chance, I think, you can turn back now, if you want.

But I take a deep breath of the cooling desert air and take a step forward. After that, my feet do the rest. After ten minutes I look back and see only a black smudge that I know is the people I'm leaving behind. I turn to the land in front of me and don't look back.

I never turn around again.