It's the next day and I actually took my parents advice. I'm sitting under a tree, in a park. It's a little too noisy here. But, I guess I just have to suck it up. Currently, I have my notebook with me. I have different types of notebooks. I have my drawing one, I have my poem one, I have my medication one, I also have my agenda. Right now, I have my poem one with me. I'm working on something that means a lot to me and my old friends. I mean, they were older friends. They are older than me by two to four years. They were never bad kids. They were great friends. But, I guess the reality of growing up struck them too hard. This poem is called "The kids aren't all right".
When we were young, the future was so bright.
The old neighborhood was so alive.
And every kid on the whole damn street,
Was gonna make it big, and not be beat.
Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn,
The kids are grown up, but their lives are worn.
How can one little street,
Swallow so many lives?
Chances thrown,
Nothing's free.
Longing for, what used to be.
Still, it's hard.
Hard to see.
Fragile lives,
Scattered dreams.
I sit for a while, under the shade. I can't bring myself to point my pencil on the paper. The tears are coming, but I have to write this. For them. My old friends.
Jamie had a chance, well she really did.
Instead, she dropped out and had a couple kids.
Mark still lives at home 'cause he's got no job.
He just plays guitar and smokes a lot of pot.
I breathe in and out slowly. I continue to write.
Jay committed suicide.
Brandon OD'd and died.
What the hell is going on?
Cruelest dream,
Reality.
I'm completely broken down right now. My tears are falling on my paper. I watch them fall. Once they reach the paper, they explode. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see a kinda familiar face. It's Luke.
"Hey, you okay?" He asks. God, his voice! NO! I have a boyfriend. I do. Kinda. Maybe. No. Not really. I don't have a boyfriend.
"No, not really," I say as I wipe my tears. "What are you doing here?" I say, kinda rude.
Luke's POV
I started looking around the park for Calum, but I couldn't find him. He said he would be here. Goddammit, he probably stood me up for some whore. I start to walk back when I hear sniffling. I look around and see the same girl that was in the therapist office. Nad... Nadie... Nadzieja! Her name is really hard to pronounce, but she's hard to forget. I watch her a bit. I know, I know. It's kinda creepy. But, she's pretty interesting to watch. Again, her emotions change faster than anyone's I've ever met. I think she's also Bipolar. It's okay, though, because I am too. We might actually have something in common. I ask her if she 's okay and she says no. I wasn't expecting that answer. Usually, people lie and say yes. I don't know why, but I really do like her. I've only known her for two days. Well, emphasis on the word "Known". She's honest.
'What are you doing here?" She asks. I am kinda taken aback by her attitude. I know I shouldn't get mad over her question, I don't think she meant it like that. But, I'm me. So, I'm going to overreact.
"You know what? Fine. I tried to help you and you give me this tone. Apparently, you don't need help." I say backing away. I turn to walk away, but I feel a little hand find it's way to mine.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I say things I don't mean." She says looking down.
"Don't worry, I do too," I say smiling. She sits back down in her spot, still holding my hand. I sit down next to her. She starts to play with my hand. Her thumb goes over my busted knuckles. Uh oh.
"What happened?" She asks not in a quiet and in an 'I'm sorry' kind of tone. More like a mumbled, curious, little kid. I smile at my thought and say,"Nothing."
She rolls her eyes and says,"I bet."
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Sorry, the chapters not over! There's also going to be a lot of "Silver linings playbook" quotes and stuff. It's just that movie is what gave me this book idea. If you can't tell. The movie has Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper in it. It's really good! If you're reading this book, I think you can watch that movie. It's on Netflix and it's on DVD I think. SORRY!
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"What happened to your face?" She says.
"Lifting accident." I simply say.
"That sounds like bullshit." She implies. I roll my eyes. She still has my hand in hers. I like her fragile fingers on my skin, I like her soft voice, I like her sarcasm, I like... Her? I may be sounding like a psychopath right now, but she's the one holding my hand on the second day of knowing each other.
"Hey, Lukey!" I hear a girl's voice behind us. I don't turn around because I want her to think that it's someone else. Nadzieja slides her hand away from mine and starts to put stuff in her backpack.
"Lukey! Hey! It's like you're trying to avoid me!" Claire laughs. I put my hands in my pockets and look back. Nadzieja is already gone. Damn, she's fast.
"So, there's this party.... Would you like to come?" She asks as she bites her bottom lip. Ew. She's disgusting.
"Can I bring a friend?" I ask, putting my hand up to protect my eyes from the sun.
"Yeah, that's the point of this whole party! Cooper is trying to break his record of how many people he can have at his house. I think his record is around 235." She says, obviously impressed.
"Okay, sure. It's tonight, isn't it?" She nods her head. I tell her that I have to get home. I'm not going home, I'm going to ask Nadzieja.
I jog in the direction she went, but I don't see her. I keep jogging until I see a backpack that looks familiar. The backpack is on a corner of an alleyway. Uh oh.
I run into the alley and I see Nadzieja. Her back is against a wall and I see 2 girls on both sides of her. She has her head up. One of them has her by her collar and the other has her hair. Nadzieja is small and fragile and she can't get out of this alone.
"Hey, Hannah and Ariel! Calum wants to talk to both of you!" I say as I walk to them. They both shriek and run away. They don't even ask where he is. Moths to flames.
"You okay? I'm sorry that I di-" She cuts me off.
"No, I'm not okay. Thanks for your concern. I don't need it, though." She says as she slides down the wall and puts her head in her hands. I slide down with her. I put my arm around her and she flinches. I might be pushing my luck, but, I will try. She starts to cry, and I'm here for her.
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Oh my goodness, "Somebody to love" by Queen just came on. AWWEEE perfect timing!
