Unable to stay, unwilling to leave (English version)

Unable to stay, unwilling to leave

This story is a translation of the italian one - the title's the same - already posted here on Wattpad.
I truly hope I didn't make too many mistakes with the language - english is not my mother-tongue; If you find some, please let me know via PM or review, so I can correct them as soon as possible.

Thank you all and... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters - just having some fun with them. I do, however, own the plot.

No copyright infringement intended.

«You jump, I jump. Remember?»
- Jack Dawson, Titanic

«I will never leave you. If you jump, I jump. Remember that.»

And I, stupid kid, I believed you. I truly believed you, with all my heart and soul, because if only I had listened to reason, we wouldn't be at this point.

You jump, I jump.

Liar.

You're just a liar, and I am a foul.

Foolish to believe in those eyes, gray like the clouds full of rain.

Foolish to believe in that smile capable of restoring joy even to a gloomy day.

Foolish to believe in those words whispered with false devotion.

Foolish to believe in the truth of your love.

"The war will never tear us apart", you said.

Although on two opposite sides, we would have been the light in the dark for each other.

And instead, my light in the dark has turned into a green light of death.

Like the one that is going to leave your wand.

They told me, you know?

That you were a Death Eater, that you were only trying to deceive me, that you were just using me, that I shouldn't trust you.

And I, silly girl that I am, I hid the truth about your Dark Mark from them, even though it would stand out on your pale skin every time we made love.

Making love. Even in those moments you lied to me, Draco?

Even when you caressed me slowly and carefully?

Even when you looked into my eyes intently, as if there was no tomorrow, before softly sliding inside of me?

Even when you said "I love you"?

Your eyes seemed so sincere, transparent in their truth.

Lies, lies, lies ... Only lies.

I gave you everything and only now I can figure out the web you weaved around me.

And it is useless now that your eyes are dimming wih tears.

And it is useless now that you look at me like you're dying inside, because, Draco, the one who's going to die it's me, just me.

But do not worry. That green light will end only the existence of my body; to my heart and my soul you've already thought about by yourself, when you decided to side with your Dark Lord.

When you decided to leave me.

When I saw the fear taking over courage in your eyes; when I saw the obligations and the expectations of your family wiping away the love that we built, the future that we dreamed about together.

When he - your Dark Lord - asked you to kill this filthy mudblood, and you have raised the wand, like a robot.

Do not pretend with me, Draco. Do it.

Be brave at least once in your life.

Do it.

Kill me.

Cast the Curse that will kill me and make your Lord and your family proud of you.

Remove these scum that pollutes your pure world.

Do it.

Say those two words, they're simple.

Do it.

And I smile, while you look at me like you're dying inside and your eyes break.

I see them shaking and shattering like clear glass reflecting in the rain.

Your hand trembles, your world collapses to the ground when I throw my wand and I open my arms ready to receive your last gift.

Because I really am giving you everything I had - even my own demise.

Do it, Draco.

I only have the time to see a single tear - a liar and a traitor one - plowing your face that I had loved so much, before the light hit me in the chest, straight to the heart.

I only have the time to see you breaking, before my life slips away from my hands and yours, Draco.

Now I've given you everything I had, even my own life.

"If you jump, I jump. Remember that. "

This time, Draco, I jumped alone.