"Can we?" (A Robbie Kay Story.)

Chapter 4.

Diana's pov.

I open my eyes, the sun is shining bright through the curtains. I yawn, stretching out as I get up. I walk downstairs, phone in my hand. It's already 10:30 am, and our therapy starts at 1 pm. I make some frosties and sit down by the kitchen table. I look at the list I wrote on my phone for the session we have today, also being very curious about Robbie his list.

It's 12:30 now and I call Robbie, "Hello?" He answers, voice raspy as if he had just woken up. "Good morning to you too." I chuckle. "Oh hey, Diana. What's up?" I get up from the sofa, "Well, it's already 12:30, so I thought we might wanna leave soon?" I hear some weird sounds on the other side, wondering what he's doing. "Right, are we gonna meet up at the spot we split up last time?" More like the spot where we split up and after that you got beaten up by those jerks, "Yea, that spot is fine. See you in five?" I get my coat and put it on, not sure if it's actually necessary to put one in. "Yea, see you in five." I smile, "Alright, bye Robbie." We quickly hang up and I walk to the spot, he's not there yet.

After a while of waiting, I see him running towards me. "Hey." He's almost out of breath, "Hey, you okay?" He nods, "Yea, sorry for being late. Let's go?" He takes a few deep breaths, and we start walking. "Had a good sleep?" He looks at me, "Yea.. You?" We both look forward now, "Had some trouble falling asleep." If only you knew. "That really sucks, you okay though?" He nods, "Yea, i'm fine now." I smile, "Good."  

When we arrive, miss. Smith is already waiting for us. "Good afternoon." She greets us with a smile and we greet her back, following her to the room we sat in last time. "How are you two?" She asks as we sit down around the table. "I'm fine." I answer and look at Robbie, "I'm okay." Miss. Smith nods, "So, on monday I asked you both to make a list for today, did you manage to make one?" I nod, "I got it on my phone." She nods, "That's alright. And you, Robbie?" We both look at him, and he gets a fold piece of paper out of his pocket. "Got it right here." He answers. "Who wants to go first?"

"I will." I take a deep breath, "Okay, so basically, what doesn't make life worth living? That wasn't really a hard one to answer. Society. Society doesn't make life worth living because it's really fucked up. You're fat? That's gross. You're skinny? That's gross too! You have alot of sex? You must be a hoe then. You don't have sex at all? You're such a pussy! I could make a whole list of these things, but then I would still be talking by tomorrow. And then our generation? The ones who were supposed to make this world a better place. Well, they fucked up too. I honestly don't even know why i'm still here. People make you feel bad all the time, only so they can feel better, they only care about themselves, that's so selfish. And then they tell us, when we are depressed, and push people away that we are selfish. That's fucking bullshit!" I can feel the anger building up, my heart starting to race faster. "Why can't people just fucking see what they are doing to us? To our world and our people?" I take a deep breath, "Diana, that was a really strong message." Miss. Smith and Robbie are both looking at me with wide eyes. "It's the truth." I shrug, trying to calm down. She nods, "And do you also have a list with what does make life worth living?" I sigh, "I didn't really know how to answer that. I mean, what does make life worth living? Success? Money? A family? I really don't know. I think that everyone has another reason to live. Just not me I guess." I'm looking at my hands now, it's the truth, I really don't know why i'm still here. My life is one big mess, and I don't have anyone to share it with. Miss. Smith writes down alot, "Anything else to add?" I shake my head, "Alright, Robbie? Do you wanna share your list now?" He nods and clears his throat.

"So, things that don't make my life worth living.. I mean, my life isn't worth living because I don't have any family I can share love with. I think, that if you don't have any love in your life, your life isn't really worth living. I'm only surrounded by negative people. I only know this world full of hate, full of selfish people. My life isn't a place where happiness is a thing, because when I get happy, something horrible will follow. That's why I don't really do anything anymore. It's not worth it, yet i'm still here." His voice is soft, a little raspy, just like when I called him earlier. "The only reason i'm still here is because Leukemia didn't kill me. And I believe there is a reason that I survived." He seems quite uncomfortable now. "And things that make my life worth living. Like I said, I believe there is a reason I survived. Deep inside, I just hope that someday I will find love. Because love is what makes people happy. I just wish it was easier then it is now." His last sentence comes out as almost a whisper. Miss. Smith stops writing now, "Thank you both for sharing your very different stories."

"Excuse me, I really need to use the bathroom." Robbie says in a rushed tone, and rushes out of the room. I look at miss. Smith, "Excuse me." I run after him, "Robbie?" I quickly walk towards him, "Hey, what's going on?" I sit down next to him on the ground, I wipe his tears away. He looks me in the eyes, "I just don't know if I can do this.." I wrap my arms around him, "It's okay.." He hugs me tight, his head on my shoulder, "I really am sorry, Diana.." My hands are stroking his back lightly, "Don't be sorry." We stay like this for a while, eventually pulling away slowly. "I'm just scared." He whispers. "Scared of what?" We help each other get up, "Everything.." I pull him into a hug again, "I promise you, you will get through this." I whisper softly into his ear. "Thank you, Diana.." I pull away slowly, and we look into each others eyes. "I promise." I reassure him, and he nods. We slowly walk back to the room.

"Everything alright?" Miss. Smith asks, "Yea, we are okay." I nod and we sit back down. Robbie gives me a small smile, and I return the smile. "For monday I was actually thinking of doing something fun. Just something relaxing, maybe baking?" Robbie and I both agree. "Sounds great." I add. "Alright, this session is over now. If there is anything I can help you with, please give me a call, alright?" We get up from our seats, "Okay, thank you miss. Smith." Robbie gives her a small smile, "Thank you." She gives us a warm smile, "Alright, see you both on monday." I nod, "Bye."

We walk outside, "Thank you for comforting me back there." I smile, "Hey, don't worry. I'm here for you." We walk together, "I mean it Robbie, if you ever wanna talk about something, don't be scared to call me, okay?" He plays with his fingers, "Okay." I take hold of one of his hands and stroke the back of his hand lightly with my thumb. "Wanna come over at mine? We can cook together if you want?" His cheeks have turned slightly red, "I would love to. Thank you." We arrive at my house. "Welcome to my place." I smile as we get in.

Heyy guys! I rewrote this chapter so many times, so I really hope you guys will like it!
Also, what do you think about Robbie his past? What is haunting him so much? I would like to know your theories!

Much love, Xxx.

*Updated*