Sidetracking Through Our Lives

gender

my gender has always bothered me
whether it be because my father tried to raise me like a boy
or whether it be because i never thought i fit in as the right type of girl
i just never felt as if being a girl was what i was comfortable with
now for some reason i want to be comfortable with being a girl
i want to wear dresses and curl my hair
i want to paint my nails and wear lipstick
but the thing is
i dont want to do it either
i want to do both
i want to be a girl
i just want to be a girl
i dont want to have to stereotype myself into what society thinks girls should do or how they should act
i want to be my own girl
but at the same time i dont
at the same time i want to be a guy
i want to experience my teenage years and after as a guy
i want to have my first beer with my grandpa
get my tuxedo for prom with my mum
i just
im so confused on what i want at all really
thursday, march 31
2:02 a.m