Worthy

Prologue

Bree

Disgusting. Ashamed. Pathetic. 

Those were the words that described what I saw when I looked into the deceiving glass mirror every morning. 

My eyes admired the reflection that appeared to me in the small knife I had stored into my bag in case I needed to feel content. 

This wasn't the first time I drew a knife upon my own body, so I wasn't afraid of the pain that I was going to endure.  It was far more relieving than the pain people drew upon me. 

A tear fell from my eye as I felt the chillness of the knife against my forearm.  I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth as the blade pierced my skin. I watched as the ruby red blood ran out of the wound. The pain made me slightly satisfied. 

"Bree-," Chris walked into my room unannounced, "Bree! What are you doing?!" He rushed to my bed snatching the knife away as he carried me into the bathroom.

"Chris, get out of here! Get your hands off of me now," I attempted getting out of his arms as he held me tightly placing me on the sink. He turned the sink on with an angry, distasteful look on his face. 

"How many times have I told you to stay away from this, huh?!" His face turned red as he held the knife up to my face.  I broke down in tears as he threw the knife down, causing the knife to make a clashing sound against the bathroom floor. 

"Oh you can't answer me now, huh? I'm just happy that you didn't cut any deeper." He went on, holding my forearm wiping the wound with a wet and cold paper towel. 

"And if I did?! God, I wish I went further so I'd be dead!" I yelled as the tears rushed from my eyes. 

"Do not wish that, Bree. If you went further, you wouldn't be in my life anymore. I love you more than anything and I would kill myself just to be with you." Chris looked into my eyes with sincerity and pain.  This was not the first time he had caught me doing this to myself. 

I shook my head as the tears overflowed. "Nobody loves me like they say they do, alright?! All people have done was take advantage of me, use me, and then say I am nothing."

"Nobody matters, Bree. The only thing you should focus on is the perception you have of yourself.  How many times have I told you that?" Chris asked in a soft tone. 

"Every time I do these shows, or go out on the street, even eat at a restaurant I have to deal with people seeing me as this-,"

"They do not see what I see in you!" Chris firmly grabbed my arms staring in my eyes. I was speechless; the only thing that was heard was Chris's intense breathing. 

"Turn around." Chris said, sighing. I turned around and looked into the mirror that seemed to mislead me everyday.  I cringed at the sight of myself.

"They may see a slut, they may see a hoe. They could even see the girl you are on stage: Desire. But I see Bree Saraya Thompson.  The one that has that angelic smile that could brighten any darkness.  That one that blushes every time I sing to her," Chris continued causing me to look down, ashamed of myself.

Chris gently lifted my head up to look into the mirror once more. We made eye contact as he spoke to me.

"What I'm trying to say is, Bree, no matter what anyone else sees, just know what I see... I see the real you."