Depression

The First Time (part 3)

So activities was pretty cool considering that we just painted and made braclets.

But hey, you have to make the best out of it.

Me and Emily were walking down the hallway and all of a sudden,we hear screaming and it sounds horrific!

So me and Emily run to catch up with the line and soon we make it and we are met with the sterile environment again.

Soon we learn that after activities, it is shower time and I let Emily go first.

As she was in there,i started singing and one of the nurses came by my room and heard me singing...

"You have a lovely voice."

"Thank you."

"What's your name?"

"Gracie Anna"

"Mines Jennifer"

"Well...hello Mrs. Jennifer."

At this point,Emily was done in the shower and I thought that my conversation with the nurse was a lil weird..

So I got my stuff and went into the bathroom and started getting ready for my shower.

"My legs are dangling off the edge,

The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,

I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.

My legs are dangling off the edge,

A stomach full of pills didn't work again,

I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone..."  I sang as I washed the soap out of my hair and washed my body.

"Gone too far and yeah, I'm gone again,

It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends,

I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends,

One's a bottle of pills, one's a bottle of gin,

I'm 20 stories up, yeah, I'm up at the top,

I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off,

Asphalt to me has never looked so soft,

I bet my mamma found my letter, now she's calling the cops,

I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it,

'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance,

Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent,

'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is,

I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife,

But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice,

I never bought a suit before in my life,

But when you go to meet God, you know you wanna look nice"

Yeah,... I like to sing while I'm in the shower...so what?

But as I am stepping out of the shower, I see all my cuts and so I sit down and count them...

"156... I have 100 on my legs and 56 on my wrists..." I say to myself... Wow right?

Nah... that's just for all the shit I've been through the past few months...

I lost my nanny, my dad went to prison, and  my mom and her boyfriend treat me like shit...

So yeah, I've been through some stuff...

But my mom doesn't care... all she cares about is Thomas... her boyfriend...

Well....... it's bedtime... see ya!