Scribblings

02/04/16

Dedicated to ClaireKann because I just really like her book, The Scavenger Hunt
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"If the flu was a person, he would be a sadist," I wheezed into the phone.
"How do you he's not a she?" My friend challenged from the other side of the phone.
Oh, how would she know? Cath was perfectly fine, on holiday in France, and by the sound of her voice, eating croissants.  Anything I eat now tastes like deep fried card board.
"God forbid if she ever gave birth," Even though I was in this bedridden state, I still managed a comeback. I believe a pat on the back is in order. Cath chuckled.
"Okay girl, take care of yourself! I'm hanging up," I could tell by the drop of peppiness in her voice that she had run out of croissants.
"Bye!" I croaked out, and then the line went dead.
I hummed aimlessly while thinking of something to do. What could you do when there seems to be more than just one frog in your throat and you're eyes have swelled up to the size of Pluto?
Aha! The beach!
Hopefully the sea air could provide some solace to my over worked lungs.
So I walked to the beach (which was only a couple of minutes away) earning a few wary glances from passerbys as I sneezed my way down the pavement, scurrying back home before they could develop one of my many symptoms.
Oh, if only I had had that chance!
The beach was pretty much empty, aside from a family of three at the ice cream stall.
I longed for ice cream, so I used all the willpower I had to reassure myself that it would just make it worse.
I relaxed into the sand, its gritty gold seeping in between my fingers. I looked up at the inky sky, there were enough cryptically shaped clouds to keep entertained for the day.
Oh look. That kid dropped his ice cream. I guess it has to happen to everyone some day, it's like a rite of passage.
As I settled my gaze back to the sea, I was soon again interrupted by a shrill wailing noise.
Yup, that would be the after-effects of the dropped ice cream.
I spread my myself out on the beach, and attempted to make sand angels with childish glee.
"WAAAAAAH!" the little boy shrieked up to the sky, bringing the wrath of hell to the heavens. The pun 'I scream for ice cream' had never take on such literal form as it had today. I smiled ruefully at the waves, I wouldn't be able to take this for much longer.
The small child seemed to be refusing any other offer of ice cream, as they were all out of Oreo flavour. The kid had had a good pair of lungs on him- I expect he's been wailing like that since the day he was born.
Besides, I already had hindered sense of taste and smell, I had no intention of going deaf as well.
Sighing, I got up and walked away from the beach, wondering if it was worth it. The volumes of the cries escalated.
Definitely worth it.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and started the walk back home. I stifled a sneeze so the neighbourhood wouldn't think there was a massacre going on. With this in mind I took a more secluded and shorter path back home, the only reason why I didn't usually go through it was because-
"OI! 'and over yer phone!" A voice yelled.
That would be why. Hmm, maybe I could use this to advantage, the little plastic keyboard of my flip phone (I know, I feel bad for me too) was in a sad state, only the vowels were fully functional, and my parents told me that I, "needed to learn the worth of things," before they would buy me a new one. What were they waiting for, did they want it to spontaneously self combust in my hands? This was my shining chance: the sweet old criminal dude would get my phone, I would get a new phone, and the phone store would make a sale! This is how our economy works people.
Satisfied with my mini assessment of the situation, I reached out for my phone and was about to give it to criminal dude when:
I could feel it coming.
The Sneeze.
And it did come, in messy green clots, all over criminal dude's face. Oops.
Yep, I had just nuclear missiled snot onto someone who could be armed.
But then again, so was I.
Oh dear, maybe this meant he didn't want to relieve of my phone anymore.
But he still had that angry look on his face, so maybe there was still hope.
Actually, he looked extremely angry right now. The polite thing to do when someone sneezes is to say 'bless you' but I figured I was the last person he wanted to bless right now, especially since I had given him a certain 'blessing' of my own. Now, since I've bestowed my blessing upon him, I should spread out my angel wings, and fly, far, far away, before I truly became one.
I bolted.
Back in my sanctuary of crumpled tissues and empty medicine packets, I rolled over and fell asleep, the annoying kid's tantrum ringing across my dreams.

Xx

K.S