Long Lost Brother

Chapter 19 : Something's wrong with Riker

Chapter 19

Later...

Jeff POV

I went downstairs after a few hours to check on Riker. He wasn't crying anymore, but he looked like he could start any minute. He was sitting up in his sleeping bag, and he'd eaten the sandwich I'd brought him earlier.

I wasn't sure what was up with him. He looked kind of sad, frustrated, and tired all at the same time.

"Hey. Um... I just wanted to know if you needed anything," I said, feeling kind of awkward.

He shook his head no, not making eye contact.

"Alright. Well um... I'll still be upstairs then..."

I went back upstairs, feeling kind of worried. He's being weird, and I don't know what's wrong.

Later...

Jeff POV

Everyone had come back from the lake, and I'd told mom about how Riker had been acting. She went downstairs, but he wouldn't talk to her either. He missed dinner, and when it was over, I brought him down a plate of food.

I went back upstairs to hang out with everyone for a little while.

Riker POV

I ate my dinner slowly, but it didn't make me feel any better. In fact, it made me feel worse. My stomach hurt. It'd been hurting all day, probably because I was such an emotional mess.

Later...

Jeff POV

I went downstairs, and Riker wasn't there. The bathroom door was closed. And I immediately thought of the worst case scenario, based on how he'd been acting.

I ran over to the door, and knocked a bunch of times.

"Riker!"

He didn't answer me, so I opened the door. He was standing by the mirror, holding a razor blade in his hand.

I slammed him up against the wall, yanked the blade out of his hand, and threw it in the garbage.

"What do you think you're doing!?" I yelled.

Riker looked scared.

"Riker, this is stupid! Why would you even try that!? Did you cut yourself anywhere yet!?"

He shook his head no, and tears filled his eyes.

"Riker, that was stupid. You could've seriously hurt yourself."

I pulled him out of the bathroom, and made him sit down on his bed.

"You're lucky I came down here when I did," I said, looking down at him.

He stared down at the floor, silently crying.

"Riker, I'm going to go tell mom."

"No, please don't! I know it was wrong, and she'll kill me! I didn't mean to!"

Riker fell over onto his pillow, crying harder.

"I'll be back in a minute. Stay there," I said.

"Wait! Are you telling mom!?"

"No. But I will if you pull something stupid like that again."

I went upstairs, and found everyone in the living room.

"Hey, Jeff. How's Riker doing?" Mom asked.

"Um... Not so good. I think he's tired. And so am I. So I came up here to tell you that we're going to go to sleep now, ok?"

Mom nodded.

"Alright. I'll see you boys tomorrow."

I closed the basement door, and went down the stairs. Riker was facing my side of the bed, crying his eyes out. I sat down on my bed, looking at him.

"We need to talk, Riker."

"I-I know..." Riker whispered.

"I want to start with what I just found you doing in the bathroom."

"I didn't mean to!"

"Ok, shhh. Let me do the talking right now. You work on calming down, ok?"

He nodded.

"Look, Riker. I've been there before, feeling like there's no other option. I grew up with abusive parents. There were many times when I wanted to cut, and a few times, I gave in. And one day, my roommate, Nick, caught me doing it. He yelled at me, and made me feel so guilty about it. He spent the whole night going on and on about the dangers of doing it. And after that, I never did it again. He made it clear that everyone at my school was there for me if I needed to talk, especially him. He showed me that people care about me. And that night, we talked it out, and I felt so much better. I'm glad that happened, and I'm better now. But I don't want the same thing to happen to you, or worse."

Riker turned over on his back, and covered his eyes with his hands.

"I know I could've hurt myself badly. But I was just so upset."

"So then let's talk about your feelings, Riker. It helps. A lot."

"I don't want to."

"Riker, I promise it'll help you. Please?"

"No."

I sighed.

"Fine... But if you want to talk later, I'll be there for you."

I went into the bathroom, picked up the razor, walked over to the window, opened it, and chucked it out as far as I possibly could. I shut the window, and then got in bed next to Riker after shutting the lights off.

"If you feel like you're going to try something, tell me, and we'll talk, ok? Even if it's the middle of the night," I said.

"Ok," Riker whispered.

I fell asleep, listening to his soft sniffles.

Middle of the night...

Riker POV

I woke up, needing to use the bathroom. So I did. And when I was finished, I stared at myself in the mirror. I had major dark circles under my eyes. I looked and felt exhausted.

I continued staring at myself, thinking about the past few days. All the things I'd done were horrible to Jeff. I'd said some pretty nasty things, and done some pretty nasty things too.

It wasn't me though. I don't know why I did and said the things I did, but it just felt like I had no control over myself. I felt like everyone liked him more than me. It was like they didn't need me anymore. He was the better twin, and they wouldn't care if I was there anymore.

I opened the bathroom door, and Jeff was staring at me.

"What did you do?" Jeff asked.

"Nothing."

I shut off the light, and got back in bed.

"Are you ok?"

"No..."

"What's wrong?"

"Stuff..."

"Riker, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want to talk about it."

I turned over in my bed, and tried to fall back asleep.