Culture Shock

Chapter Five

How I wish the gods would hear me. Are gods real? Is God? I have lived in a Christian country but never talked to Him.

Tears rushed down to my face. He's probably punishing me for not acknowledging Him. I deserve this.

My worst fear has come— sacrificing for Philipp. He's been a good-for-nothing old man and I swore not to care... but why now?

My head's spinning and I don't freaking know who to believe anymore. Johann told me way different tale from what made me discover this island. My story had been rewritten AGAIN.

"Tell me, Leonidas. Did I do the right thing?" I asked between my sobs. I shouldn't be seen crying but the bitches were unstoppable.

"It would depend, my lady," he answered low-toned.

"What d'you mean?"

"A friend would convince you into escaping, but a knight would beg you to stay." He dropped his gaze and let out a sigh.

"What are you, then? A knight?"

"A squire, my lady."

It took me seconds before taking a grasp on his words. They were a bit cloudy but clear enough that he holds no power of my future.

How stupid of me to ask him knowing that if he'd be made to choose between helping me and obeying the king, he'd choose him. I may even be just an obligation to him, never a friend and it stabs my heart. There's no one left to trust. Even Neon isn't here.

After mom's incident, they found out that Philipp was the late king's bastard. Upon learning the woman's pregnancy, he abandoned them. Philipp regarded his father with loathing and contempt. His rage has pushed him to plot assassination in a parade fifteen years has passed.

Perhaps Clarisse was just for vengeance. Perhaps Philipp knew that she was betrothed to that prince so he made her fall for him. But a part of me disagrees, pushing the reason of his grudge towards me into my brain.

Why would he carry certain anger if he wasn't mourning for his wife's death?

But what if that anger wasn't for mourning? What if it was for his father, or for the island, or for the world? What-if's crushes my brain every single day, filling me with uncertainty or survival.

He was then sued for treachery, but Johann said that the heads of state decided to hear his pledge regarding my marriage. If I can't bear a baby, he'll die.

Selfishness.

Egoism.

But at the end of the day, I want him alive. I can't bear to lose him this way. Being either beheaded, hung, burned?

"The gods will hear your weeps, my lady."

The temple was empty. Their ancestors believed that the emptiness will lead you into discovering who to worship.

Will God talk to me?

I slowly closed my eyes as Leonidas left the hall, leaving his warmth protecting me.

Hi.

What should I say?

Are you there, Sir? I chuckled, wiping my face but eyes closed still. Neon once told me you'd listen. Would you really, Sir? I have sinned. Now, would you still?

What do I do?

I sat for minutes, waiting for an answer. I sat for hours but no one did. How does God speak to people, I thought. Would he even waste my time on me? Who am I, anyway?

I stood up in abrupt and took my steps out of the temple. I'm dead hopeless.

"Leonidas?" I called.

"My lady!" His voice was as sharp as the swift sound. I could feel my body hit the ground and his weight over me. Arrows were flying.

"Keep still, my lady," he whispered between his breaths and hovered his armour over me. He took out a pistol and began shooting back.

My heart was pumping hard, and all I could do was to squeeze my eyes shut. "Leonidas," I murmured. What's happening?

It took minutes before the noise ended. Leonidas stooped towards me and cupped my face. I knew I was pale. "Are you hurt, my lady?" His voice was filled with concern.

I shook my head and sought for redemption. "What was that?"

The whole palace was in full terror upon learning what has happened. The king's absence has led Johann to summon all his men.

"How bad are you hurt, my lady?" I was quite unsure if Johann was playing the game or merely anxious. His voice turned soft as he constantly checked my arms.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my elbow away from him. "I said I'm fine. Just let the cat out of the bag."

He hoisted himself up and faced Leonidas and the soldiers. "I confidently believe you'd do your duties. Now, I'd like you to leave Lady Clare and I alone," he ordered.

All the servants in elegant long dresses hustled out the tower along with the soldiers (obviously in red and maroon cloths).

My heart hasn't stopped thumping.

"It has been fifteen years since two rebellious factions have clamored, my lady." I listened. "Those who scream for democratic governance, and those who've been shedding tears for the one true king to someday return from grave."

"One true king?" This seems very familiar.

"You would see upon his tomb, my lady. All the flowers bequeathed by the ladies crying for his return. Our son will carry my name, my father's name, and my uncle's name. Our grandson will, as well, until the dead rises up and rules again."

My body started to tremble. "You mean the late prince's resurrection?" I laughed bitterly. "That's impossible, Johann. Come on." And my tears went flowing again.

"He will, Clare."

"You're dragging me into something that's an apparent ridicule! What you're telling me is a mere myth, Johann. I have heard such legend, alright? What now? Did he have a magical sword given by a mysterious lady inhabiting a lake? Gosh," I exclaimed.

I shook my head in disbelief. He hesitantly clasped me to himself and brushed my hair. "We might have contradicting concepts of truth, my lady, but this will cure the realm's wound from the past."

"I just wanna go home..."

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