Mr None

Chapter 1: I don't have a surname...

(Picture: Amethyst Mistleton)

"Am, come on, it's too crowded here. I'm leaving." Lauren threatened.

"Nuuu... Please, I just want my damn cheeseburger." I pleaded. Puh-lease, MacDonald's is never to crowded for me to forgo my cheeseburger. "I drove us here, I decide what to eat. And we are eating here, right where I am now, in MacDonald's."

Lauren rolled her eyes at me. Ha! The audacity! I used my own freaking petrol to drive her ass down to this mall and here she is telling me I can't have my burger. Geez, why is she even my best friend? Oh right, because we're practically sisters.

Lo and I go wayyyyyyy back. Don't judge her nickname, I gave it to her. I used to call her Lolo as a kid, but she requested for me to stop in fourth grade so I reluctantly listened. How do we know each other? Well, you know that cliche thing where the neighbour is the best friend? Yeah. Same with me and Lo. But it really is damn useful. When you're lonely, you instantly have a friend to talk and be with. You can do almost everything together. Heck, we've even bathed with each other as kids. She's like the sister I never had.

Anyways, let's not get carried away with all our sentimental connections. Right now, I am starving and could eat a cow. Literally. I want that damn cheeseburger and nobody, even Lo who I am currently angry with, is going to stop me from reaching my beloved.

"Listen up, woman. I'm eating here and ain't nobody gonna tell me I can't, even you, Lauren Etching."

What do I get in response? She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot angrily. Ooh, here comes the "Don't mess with me or else" face... Yelling predicted in 3...2...1...

"Amethyst Mistleton, we are getting out of this mayhem to go somewhere more sane! I know I said we could have MacDonald's but seriously, it's so crowded the people are about to pop out of the shop in like a minute. It's madness. If you wanna stay here you stay here yourself. You wanna come with me, you get out. Now."

Damn, I really don't want to go. I could try to convince her, probably to no avail, though. What could I do? Make a big fat fuss? Throw my hands around? Ooh, how bout lying on the floor and letting everybody step all over me and possibly kill me and when asked to move, I'd refuse to budge and I'd sit there on my royal ass until a cheeseburger was placed between my lips... Or I could -

"Am, nothing you say or do will make me stay. You can stop plotting ways to get me to change my mind. I won't." She said calmly, reading my mind. This is what time does to you, friends. God, I've been spending too much time with her. Not that I have anyone else to be with but still...

I raised my hands in surrender. I couldn't do anything now. "You win, mom." I gave in, following Lo out the glass doors blocked with people.

"So where am I being fed my replacement cheeseburger?"

"Yeah, about that..." She replied sheepishly. Uh oh. My cheeseburger. My cheeseburger. She's gonna tell me something like "Sorry, I guess you won't get a burger today, maybe next time." I bet you nothing that's what she'll say. She says that every time I don't get to eat MacDonald's even when she promised.

"Um, as you can see today is a public holiday and there is like hardly anything open, so the only things we have are MacDonald's and The Salad Store, so..."

Moment of truth...

"Sorry, I guess you won't get a burger today, maybe next time."

Aha! I was bloody right! Both about what she would say and about us spending too much time with each other. But more importantly about her awful, dreaded response. I was going to give her hell about it, but considering she, as a claustrophobic, lasted pretty damn long in that crowded MacD's before blowing her top, I let her off easy.