The Other Half of Dean

Part 3

The brothers returned to the bunker a couple days later. "Sammy, I don't think it was a spell," Dean groaned.

"Well, what else could it be?"

The elder Winchester bit his lip. "I must be... cursed."

Sam widened his eyes, gasping in sarcastic shock as his hands sprang up to his cheeks. "No way!"

"You know what, fuck you." Dean marched towards the kitchen to grab himself a beer. "Mama needs," he opened the fridge, "a drink," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. Straightening up, he turned to find the angel standing behind him. "Cas, were you checking me out?"

The angel tilted his head in confusion. "I don't-"

"Dude, were you or were you not looking at my ass just now?"

"I was not aware that you had an animal in your fridge. How does it fit?" he asked, trying to peer around Dean.

The hunter sighed, knowing that the angel was a lost cause. "Forget it, Cas. Can you tell me how to fix this?" he gestured to his body.

Castiel tilted his head again, narrowing his eyes. "Fix what? I sense no injury."

"Fix... what...?" Dean repeated, stunned. "Fix... what... I AM A GIRL, CASTIEL!" he screeched at the top of his lungs.

Sam ran to the kitchen as Cas shrugged, his expression remaining stoic. "I didn't notice."

Dean threw his hands up in annoyance, then gestured to his chest. "How could you not notice?!"

The angel squinted his eyes. "Your soul is the same. I don't perceive humans based on their physical appearance, Dean. I wouldn't notice unless I was looking."

"Well, look!" Dean growled.

Castiel's eyes glowed blue for a moment before fading. When the light had died away, his eyes had become dull, as if his grace had been sucked out of them. "Wait, what just happened?" Sam asked.

"I made my eyesight human. It is the easiest way for me to perceive bodily forms."

"Oh... um, okay, then," Sam trailed off.

Castiel glanced at Sam. "Wow, you are much taller than this vessel."

"Uh, yeah... you haven't noticed that before?"

"Like I have previously stated, I mostly percieve humans based on their souls."

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can you just tell me how to change me back?"

Castiel frowned, turning back to Dean. "Killing the witch should remove the spell."

Sam and Dean exchanged glances. "It's not a spell. I'm cursed, Cas."

"Then I'm afraid I have no good news. If you're cursed, only the curser can remove it."

Dean angrily ran a hand through his hair. When his fingers became entangled in the strands, he growled and tore his hand free. He winced, but then turned to his brother. "Looks like I'm stuck this way, Sammy."

Sam shook his head. "No. There must be another way to get rid of the curse."

"I'm sure there is, but for now, let's just keep hunting. Who knows, maybe we'll find someone useful."

"Yeah, I guess," Sam sighed. "I found us a vampire case in Arkansas if you're up for it."

"Let's hit the road, Sammy!" The boys stopped for lunch at a diner, before heading back on the road. Dean groaned a few hours later as cramps tightened in his gut. "Sam, I gotta stop."

Sam took his eyes off of the road and looked worriedly at his brother. "Dean, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bad burger," he winced.

Sam turned into the nearest shop and parked the car. "Don't forget to go in the ladies' room."

"Shut up," Dean rolled his eyes and walked towards the bathroom. His hand reached out for the men's door, but he stopped. Pushing open the women's restroom, he disappeared. Nearly twenty minutes later, he came back out, his face pale.

Sam immediately ran to his brother. "That took forever! I thought you died," he laughed, before frowning when he noticed his brother's expression. "Hey, what's up?"

"I think I'm going to have to sit this hunt out, Sammy," Dean said, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a groan.

"What? Why?"

"I'm pretty sure they'd be able to smell me coming."

Sam shook his head, his brow furrowed. "What are you talking about, Dean?"

"I'm... I'm on my period," he mumbled before jumping into the Impala.

The younger Winchester froze. "Your..."

Dean pursed his lips and stared out the window, crossing his arms. "Yeah."

"Oh..." Sam sat awkwardly in the driver's seat. "Do you, uh, need anything?" he asked, tapping the steering wheel uneasily. "You know, so you don't bleed your guts all over Baby?"

"Yeah, I'll need tampons and pads. Even though I have no idea how to use them," he sighed. "And some Midol would be stellar right now. Oh, also some pie. And beer."

"I'll run to the drugstore and get you what you need, you stay here and keep calm."

"Why wouldn't I be calm?"

"Because you're bleeding out of your... never mind. Just wait here until I get back." Sam made his way back into the store, while Dean tried his best to curl into fetal position. Sam finally reappeared, bags swinging off his arms.

"Jesus, got enough stuff?" Dean asked bitterly.

"You're gonna go through it a lot faster than you might think," Sam replied. "There should be instructions in the box for the tampon. But you've slept with enough women, I'm sure you can figure it out on your own."

Dean flushed scarlet before he scrambled to the back of the car to grab a bloodless pair of underwear. Scurrying into the bathroom, he reappeared in half the time it had taken him before. "Ta-da," he smiled stupidly. "I'm a big girl now."

"That's great, Dee," Sam rolled his eyes. "Now, I'm gonna call Bobby to see if he can dispatch someone to take over the case."

"No!" Dean shouted. "This is our case!"

Sam jumped, his phone flying sideways from his hands. "Dude! What is wrong with you?"

"We'll do it ourselves," Dean crossed his arms. "We don't need Bobby."

"Dean, they'll be able to sense you a mile away," Sam shook his head.

Dean shrugged. "So?"

"So?" Sam repeated. "So? How about the fact that they'll anticipate us coming—because they can smell blood, you know—and then kill us?"

"I guess..." Dean bit his lip, his hands tightening around the shirt covering his aching abdomen. "Maybe you should just call Bobby or someone."

Sam threw his hands up in exasperation. "That's what I was saying!"

"Don't yell at me!" Dean's eyes teared up. "I didn't do anything to you, Sammy!"

Sam's face softened as he looked at his brother. "I'm sorry." Dean sniffed, but nodded nonetheless. "I'll just call Bobby and then we can take it easy, okay? We can watch all the Chuck Norris and Dr. Sexy you want."

Dean sniffed again. "Can we get pie, too?"

Sam smiled and patted Dean on the knee, already beginning to feel worn down by his brother's hormones. "Sure, Dean. We can get pie."