Starless Skies #MentalIllness

Uno

Uno

Dear Diary,

Life hasn't been the best to me; maybe this will serve as enough excuse to not write to you all summer. Even though all I did was lay on my bed, watch the ceiling and talk to my friend, once in a blue moon (If you would consider her my friend, but because I don't have anyone else, I guess you will need to).

Tomorrow, I start my senior year. And like every year, I am not at all willing to go to that hell-hole. I don't know why I can't just get homeschooled.

Oh yes! Because my mother, if you can call her that, doesn't get the fact that that place causes me panic attacks and she would rather have me ill than accept to people that her son has a mental illness. She is going to get the Best Mother Award, I swear.

Something that I have learned over the summer is that: People only see what they want to. They won't see the desperateness in your action asking for their help, they won't see the tear stains in your eyes, they won't see the panic in your words, until and unless they want to.

And seldom do they want to.

They like to pretend like everything is fine and perfect. They like to think that they are living in this perfect world, where each and every smallest thing is perfect. They like to live in their own little bubble of perfection.

Adults are the worse victims of this 'perfection bubble'. We are supposed to go to them, if we need help. But what happens when those adults themselves, like to pretend that everything is normal, that you don't have tears staining your cheeks?

Such a weird thing pretendence is. You can pretend to be happy, by just smiling and people would fall for it, that easily. They won't question you. If you are smiling, it means that you are fine and happy. It doesn't even occur to people that that person maybe having the hardest day of their lives, and putting up an upfront.

Or maybe they just simply don't care about other people, like the people here, and are selfish enough to pretend that the person is okay when they are clearly not.

It is hard to believe that these kinds of people exist. I had difficulty believing it too. But when I saw them myself, I had no choice but to believe it.

I wonder what happens when this same person, who selfishly ignored other people's trouble and illness, faces with the same troubles and illness. Do they change? Do they realize their mistake? Do they see what they did to others?

Maybe they do, and maybe they don't. Maybe they don't even face with such an illness because it only affects the few screwed-up ones in this earth.

There are way too many Maybes and way too less Answers for these Maybes. Maybe I will find the Answers or Maybe I will die without them.

Yours sincerely,
Noah

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I hope you liked this chapter. Do vote and comment if you did!

What do you think will happen now? Moreover what do you think of Noah and his mother? Let me know!

I will update again on Wednesday, but if you want to read the chapter earlier, it is already available on RadishFiction for free! So head over there subscribe maybe?

All the love, S.