The Lives We Live

Pain

•Renee's pov•

"...Your daughter has cancer." Is all that kept repeating in my head. I actually believe I heard my heart break. I can't even begin to tell you how many questions are running through my head.

Everyone in the room was dead silent, you could hear a pen drop. My father just walked out of the room with out a word and my brothers instantly started to cry.

I can't believe that this is even real life right now! I am in complete shock, I can't believe that I have cancer. I didn't realize that I was crying until I felt my bed become wet, I looked down to see that the top part of blankets are covered in tears.

I guess because he started to feel uncomfortable the doctor began to head for the door trying to excuse himself from the room to I guess, "give us some privacy" so he says "I'll just leave you all alone." With that annoying posh voice of his but he is not about to just walk out as if nothing happened, as if he didn't just give me the worst news of my life!

Before he could turn the door knob, something came over me. For the first time all day, I was actually able to speak again. My voice came out raspy, angry and almost non-audible all at once. It sounded disgusting and I didn't sound like myself AT ALL.

"Wait!" I said as loud as a whisper but it was enough to make the doctor stop dead in his tracks. Also causing Kyle and James to look at me with unreadable expressions.

"Yes miss Martin?" He asked, only making me become more pissed off and irritated because of his annoying voice!

I tried clearing my throat to try and speak better but I was only making everything worse.

"You think that you can just drop that kind of information on me and just walk out the room as if nothing happened?" I asked in rage.

"Well...no..no mis-"he started to say but I instantly cut him off.

"That's sure as hell what it seems like! You just gave me the most heartbreaking news of my life and you're not even going tell what's going on? I don't need "privacy" what I need is for you to tell me what's going on right now!" I practically yelled causing me cough up more blood.

"Miss Martin, I really think that you should take it easy. I wasn't just going to leave to give you your "privacy" I was also going to retrieve your father because what I'm about to tell you, everyone needs to hear.

With that he walked out of the room to go get my father. Making my heart rate begin to pick up rapidly. Lord only knows how my father is taking this right now. I can't even imagine.

Loud sobbing brings me back to reality. I look up to see my brothers, Kyle and James still sitting next to me with soaked faces and red-puffy eyes. This only makes me feel ten times worse than what I was already feeling.

"Kyle, James, don't cry. Please don't cry." I begged. "Whatever the doctor has to say, I'm sure it can't be all bad, we'll get through it like we do everything." I said wiping the tears from both of their beautiful faces, trying to calm them down and give them a weak smile and some reassurance. In that moment the doctor walks back in with my sobbing father following behind.

"Now as I was saying," he stated starting where he left off. "Miss Martin, you'll want to take it easy for the next few months because that's pretty much all the time that you have left." He says bluntly. "You have stage four brain cancer, and it is extremely aggressive. You have some very large tumors that have migrated to your brain. I would recommend you some treatment but A) it is highly expensive and B)-

Before he can even finish what he was saying my father interrupts him in a heartbeat.

"We have lots of money!" My father says sadly but eagerly. "How much do you need?" He asks with clear hope and excitement in his voice.

Instantly answering the doctor says " I'm sorry sir, but because of the stage where you're daughter is at in her condition all the money in the world wouldn't be enough due to the location as to where the cancer is at in your daughter's brain." He says with sadness and depression.

"What do you mean?" My father asks as his voice begins to crack.

"Well sir, the tumors are located on her central nervous system. Which means that if we operate on her it would damage most of the nervous system or worse...she could die mid-procedure."

"Can't you at least try, I mean especially considering that you said she only has a matter of months anyways!" My father yells.

Remaining calm the doctor speaks again "I'm sorry sir, but it just doesn't work like that."

"Of course it doesn't!" My father screams living the room once again.

Now the doctor has turned his attention directly back to me. "I'm truly sorry miss Martin, is there anything I can do for you at all, perhaps you make you more comfortable?" He asked me with sympathy in his voice and on his face.

"Leave." Is all that comes out.

"I understand. James, Kyle, I think that you should come with me to give her, her space and to go calm down your father." He says heading towards the door.

Kyle and James both look at me for assurance. I just nod my letting them know that it's ok. They both kiss me on my forehead before exiting the room behind the doctor.

Honestly though, it's not ok. I can't even begin to fathom the news that I have just received. All that I could do was cry my eyes out and stare out the window. Just to sit there and endure this pain all on my own.