Sociopathic Tendencies

00. Making a Sociopath

It was once said by a great man that "It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one." The line itself confused me. No excuse? That made no sense to a child who could sell a glass of water to a drowning man. And how many dogs had to eat children's homework before that became a bad excuse? These types of life changing questions plagued my mind. It really says a lot about a person who would rather lie than tell the truth. Lies were easier to swallow, they were silken and smooth. The truth was like everyone always said, ugly. Sure I was known to be truthful, to tell the hard truth. But it was fun delivering the hard truth, you could see the fear in their eyes and see the sadness rise up. It was exiting and almost as fun as a lie.

I am by no account lying to you or myself now. I hate when I lie to myself. It is so much harder to figure out who I am without me shoving frosting down my own throat. It is strenuous as it is, living the life of a teenage sociopath in a small town. Where the only ideas accepted were the ones presented by big mouthed white republicans and old misinformed democrats.

When I was a child, my life was normal growing up. I had a co-dependent religious mother who was as tight as the stick up her ass, and a controlling father whose drug dealer was named Juan, I shit you not. We lived off of 30,000 a month in a three story house in a neighborhood that was the poster for Donald Trumps campaign. It consisted of people whose biggest problem was what type of sand to put in the horse arena and that everyone had the same over priced fencing supplied by a man wearing a Ford hat in a Chevy shirt.

My school was your average school, filled, but not overly filled, with the spawn of high middle class families who only cared about what toy they would buy next. The days were spent by harmless teasing of the overweight children, imitating little people by pulling our shirts over our knees, and whine at the adults who later considered putting a bullet in their own head if the children complained one more time about their lack of physical things. We were all motivated by the idea of owning more "stuff."

My home life could only be considered normal . If normal was constant drilling that emotion was weak and you should swallow it just like daddy did the pills, alone. The only way you would get anywhere in life was if you used manipulation. After you would finish your chores, you would be forced into feeling guilt because you didn't do them without being asked. Everyone had worse problems than you, therefore your problem did not exist. We were told by an overweight father, that "you are getting pudgy, go work out" at the age of twelve, even though both of us were in two sports each. I was taught the lie before I was taught the truth.

This started the journey to becoming who I am today. Because let's face it, I am superior to all human life.

The me that my "friends" (Note: I saw "friends" because sociopaths do not have friends, they have pawns and personal attachments.) know is apologetic, sweet, devious, confidant, beautiful, truthful, and loyal. What they do not know, will not kill them. As a successful sociopath, one must have a seamless mask that fits perfectly and hides the monster you are inside. No one wants to follow a person who can never love them back. But let's get one thing strait, I am not apologetic, I am anything but. My sorry's are the frosting to my deceptive cardboard cake.

I like to say that the first thing I learned to do was lie. And that itself is a lie.

What are the tendency's of a sociopath? How does one work? These are all things you will learn. You know me, now I am going to open up for you, tell you the truth that no one knows about what really makes a sociopath.

Tendency's of a Sociopath:

1. Lies

2. Manipulation

3. No regrets

4. Inability to Love

5. Intelligence

6. Narcissistic

7. The End

And so our journey begins...