cutie ✧･ﾟ wilk

one

anastasia ramirez;

"ana!"

my name was called for at least the third time in the space of five minutes, causing me to get up from the sofa and trail into the kitchen - where the voices were coming from.

i could've guessed it'd be my siblings, charlotte more than anybody. both of them were sat at the table, my two year old ivanna on her uncle mason's lap as he bopped her up and down on her knee, making high-pitched noises that shot right through me.

mental reminder to remind him not to make them annoying noises ever again, despite how much they entertained ivanna.

"can you please, pretty please with a cherry on top, head to the grocery store and get these, please?" she handed me a list of about twenty items, written down in her awfully neat handwriting which i honestly hoped one day she'd teach me how to have. it was beautiful. then there was my handwriting; messy, scribbly, looked like i'd scribbled across the page and in all honesty i'm pretty sure my toddler could put me to shame and have better handwriting then me.

i scanned the list before giving my sister a roll of the eyes and telling her that i'd do it for her. my brother immediately stood up, giving me my daughter as if to tell me that she needed to go out today.

perfect.

i was going to be done at least half an hour later than expected now, mainly because ivanna was with me and i knew, i just knew, she'd try to put every single item that was pink and, or, stood out.

not that i mind, but five items later it got a little annoying. but i loved her, i wouldn't change her for the world.

at all.

i could've sat there being seventeen and just got rid of her like that, but no. i didn't. it wasn't that i was against that, i supported everyone who chose to have that option because, damn, i don't know what happened for them to end up like that.

i was lucky though. i knew ivanna's father, he was my boyfriend at the time. a high school relationship, nothing serious. but as soon as i told him he didn't want to know, he left like that. like he didn't care.

he was yet to even meet his child, two years later. and at this point, i wasn't even sure if i wanted her to meet her father. she had a right, yes but he put her out in the dark like that, as if she didn't even exist. he wanted nothing to do with her, till this day.

i don't know where he is right now, quite frankly i couldn't care less. i hope he's living a happy life and i hope he knows that his daughter doesn't need him, she doesn't need his negativity and neglect in her life.

but, i mean if he really wanted to see her, i wasn't going to keep him away from his child. he helped create her, he had a right. but if he wants nothing to do with it fine. i'm perfectly fine with that.

she's loved; surrounded by family, people that aren't going to just turn on her no matter what.

but i knew deep down it was going to come to one of the days where she walks in or i pick her up from kindergarten and she's going to ask 'why do the rest of the children have a daddy?' or 'why do the rest of the children have a daddy and a mommy?'.

even thinking about it made my heart ache. i never went through this; both of my parents were married upon all of my siblings being born and are still married to this day. happily is a understatement though, they have their moments. they fight like teenagers, i swear, and over stupid things too - their most recently one was because my father didn't pick up a tshirt from their bedroom floor, like really?

before i got too much more into thought i put ivanna in my arms and grabbed the car keys from the side, telling both siblings that i'd be back in no more than a hour.

hopefully.

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[unedited, 707 words.]