Taels of Kelinth

The Dragon's Indigestion

Let's get one thing straight, I'm an Enlightened Virgin. Purer than a seelie unicorn, sure, but with the right idea of feminism. I knew my rights, and I was quite happy to quote them to the hoity toity Wizard who came knocking on the door of my quaint, wood and stone cottage.

"You can't just turn me over to El'eshan'edi'enior. I'm a citizen of Kelinth and entitled to all protections and fair treatments thereof. Choosing only females and Virgins to die is discrimination of the highest order. The Virgin Empowerment Union will hear of this I say!" Stomping my dainty foot I shot the old man a glare.

He wilted under the power of my shining violet-eyed stare. That stare was dry by the way. Drier than a Virgin's− well, I wasn't quite sure what exactly, some upstanding citizen always made certain to cut the sailors off at that point.

Anyway, I wasn't going to resort to weeping at the drop of a hat. No, this girl was going to push through with the sheer force of her brains and personality, not her beauty. Of course, with my seemingly endless, wavy midnight hair, sun brushed skin and delicate pixie features I could win any heart I wanted. After all, I wasn't a Spinster; I was a Virgin by Choice. Learn the difference.

Clearing his throat the Wizard stroked his beard. It was a proper beard, full white and brushing against his ankles. "I am sorry, but in these desperate times we all must do what we must for the good of the kingdom. With the king dead the dragon is anxious to get back to business as usual. The only way we can think of to temporarily appease El'eshan'edi'enior is to offer him several Virgins. Unless you want a dragon to become our next king?"

I sniffed. "I wasn't the one who offered him the entire tooting kingdom. Besides, for all you know I could have met a nice, handsome Prince in the past few days. Mighty presumptuous of you, to come knocking on my door and expecting me to be as I was."

The Wizard's dark grey eyes wavered then slid away from mine. One gnarled hand pointed with an equally gnarled, polished oak staff. For a second I didn't see anything. Then I spotted the seelie unicorn trying to sidle behind my apple tree.

I gaped, then shook one small, well-formed fist. "You son of a...a something! How dare you! We Virgins are already a dying breed! Who will ride you, brush your marble white coat and stroke your sleek, magnificent figure if you sell us all out? What did the Wizard Council offer you? Tell me, what did you sell us out for?"

The Wizard's thin lips curled up into a smirk, his coiled moustache lifting at the movement. "We may have a Virgin Prince locked up in one of the castle towers."

The unicorn's golden horn and hoofs glowed at the Wizard's words. Even I gasped, impressed. Well. I would or would not have considered selling out my sisters for that price. After all, there was a difference between a Virgin by Choice and a Forever Virgin.

Collecting myself I sniffed, turning my snub nose up in the air. "I would suggest you remove yourself from my doorstep and go pay this Prince a visit then. Good day, sir."

Rather than respect my maidenly desires the Wizard tutted. Reaching up he took off the silver starred, midnight blue hat that matched his fur-trimmed robe. Ever so slowly he dropped it, then raised an eyebrow.

I yawned, displaying my glossy white, even teeth.

Seeing my lack of tears he frowned, then reached into his robes, pulling out an apple. "How about a bite, dear?" he asked.

What did he think I was, an idiot? I had my own orchard, for Furies' sake. Batting my impossibly long eyelashes I held out a hand. The second he dropped the fruit into my palm I drew back and tossed it. It sailed past his head and crashed into the unicorn, catching the perfidious creature right above the eye.