Taels of Kelinth

Kingdom of Fools

My master, Grand Wizard Geniv Fiztr, was an idiot. He was also the smartest member of Kelinth's governing body. Other countries had spices and porcelains but we boasted the finest set of fools on the continent. That was actually a matter of great pride in our kingdom; it clearly showed that Kelinth's prosperity was all due to the hard-work and tenacity of its common citizens. The pride derived from this made the people look at the antics of the King and his nobles with amusement, though most probably would not mourn their passing.

The latter feeling became quite pronounced after the King made a certain proclamation, one that had several persons sharpening their pitchforks. The problem began, really, with Kelinth's location. The entire country was mostly flatland, dotted here and there with a few small hills. Most of it was green and filled with forests and streams. All of it was fertile and a beauty to behold.

For centuries Kelinthans had lived in prosperous harmony with the land and were hard-pressed to find fault with even an inch of it. The generous bounty it produced generated the patient tolerance the people afforded the nobility.

So when King Dremond found fault with our kingdom it was an affront to our pride as well as to our good common sense. See, Kelinth was completely inland and the King wanted us to have a sea lapping on our non-existent shores.

His most notable attempt involved sand.

"Sand?" Master Geniv asked, a frown marring his lined face. My master was rather young for his profession and his wizard's beard was grey instead of white and hung only to his stomach. Thankfully, his dark blue robes, knotted wooden staff and tall pointy hat made up for his short-comings.

"It is the perfect solution," King Dremond defended in his deep voice.

"I think it might work," Kenfer, the Duke of Eresn offered, a smile on his handsome face.

The problem, I always thought, was that the nobles looked the part of the role they played–or rather, were supposed to play. King Dremond stood at an impressive height and was broad of shoulders and slim of hip. His black beard was neatly trimmed and his voice echoed through the hallways without him making the slightest effort. He wasn't classically handsome but his rugged looks still had the power to make ladies swoon. At thirty-five he was a rather eligible bachelor for those who were willing to overlook his lack of brains.

His nobles were handsome, charming and distinguished-looking. Their brown skin, black hair and grey eyes were typical of all Kelinthans.

Widow Jessa, the healer, could always be heard saying that the nobility got so focused on cultivating good looks that they ended up breeding intelligence right out of their lines.

Indeed, the aristocrats who presented themselves at the farmlands of Kelinth's west border a week later were a fine set of fools. My master, standing beside the king, reached out to pull me to their sides but I dodged, embarrassed. Slinking to the back I turned to look at the objects of everyone's attention.

A long row of carriages piled high with sand stood facing us, their backs to the Kelinth-Heernf border. At the command of King Dremond the drivers emptied their load. There was a cloud of dust as sand settled to the ground and many coughed, covering their faces.

The dust cleared and several groans could be heard.

"Sand? This asinine madcap of a king just poured sand on my crops?" one particular furious farmer whispered.

"Quiet, you might hurt his feelings!" someone close-by shushed him. "Besides, he might have simply thought it was fertilizer."

The King spread his arms wide and silence fell. "With this, we shall have sea! No water can resist the call of this fine sand."