crossroads ✿ jily

Chapter Eight - Closed Door, Open Window

Lily breathed in the fresh spring air which played in her hair as she gazed out the window at the passing fields and towns. She felt as though she hadn't been outside in months, which was of course ridiculous...but there was some kind of odd peace that came along with her newfound, if brief, freedom. Considering the tumultous morning she'd had, she was a bit surprised that she was able to feel such calm, but supposed it also had to do with being at least a bit removed from the situation.

"Where is that trolley-lady?" Arabella wondered aloud, breaking into Lily's thoughts. Turning to regard her friend, who was stretching lazily across the seat opposite her, Lily replied,

"You can't be hungry already. You just ate!"

Arabella frowned at her through one eye as the other closed in a yawn and protested, "What are you talking about? That was three hours ago...and I didn't exactly get a chance to enjoy anything, I was eating so fast."

Lily shrugged as Bella stood and pulled open their compartment door to peek down the corridor. She sighed and murmured, "Maybe I should go and find her. What do you think?"

Lily shook her head, but she was smiling slightly as she replied, "Go ahead...if you don't care about showing her what a pig you are."

Arabella shot her a dirty look over her shoulder and muttered, "Shut up."

"Pig," Lily repeated.

"Cow," Bella said, then grinned and slipped out the door as Lily laughed. Truth be told, she wouldn't even be on this train if it weren't for Arabella. That morning, after James had gone up, Lily had not been able to do much more than sit on that couch for a good thirty minutes, just trying to keep track of her mind to be sure she didn't completely lose it. Torn between hot flashes and cold sweat, she'd eventually made her escape back up to her dorm, where she caught sight of the box her sister had sent her sitting on the stand at the foot of her bed. She was suddenly overcome with the need for her mother's advice...her mother's comfort...something. She'd picked up the box and started rummaging through it, only she hadn't known exactly what she'd been hoping to find inside. The noise had awoken Arabella, and she'd asked Lily what was going on and why she was up so early. Lily had said simply that she suddenly had a great need to see her parents.

Arabella, being a true friend, didn't ask any more questions...she'd simply made it happen. She'd gone to McGonagall to request permission for the both of them to leave school grounds for the weekend, which McGonagall had given on the condition that they stay together at all times and that they were back by Sunday evening. Now, three hours later, they were aboard the Hogwarts Express bound for London. Hopefully, it would be the closure Lily needed to end this bittersweet chapter of her life and finally move on.

"Well, she was certainly rude," Arabella huffed as she reentered the compartment, her arms laden with food, "I mean, you'd think I asked her to stop the train or something."

"You probably threw off her entire schedule by bursting in there and begging for sweets!" Lily exclaimed as she watched Bella dump everything on the seat beside her. Bella smirked and said,

"I have to have my sugar in the morning...you know that."

Lily smiled as she picked up a pumpkin pasty – the least sugary of everything Arabella had brought – and picked at it without putting much in her mouth. She had to get away from it all, to think clearly.

"What?" Arabella asked, eyeing Lily closely. Lily blinked as she realized she'd been staring.

"Nothing...sorry. Just...thinking, I guess." She didn't feel like going into everything right then...she didn't even feel like thinking too much about it. She knew that if she started to let her mind go over her anxiety about James – the look that had been in his eyes that morning – she'd lose the serene feeling that had inexplicably taken hold of her, and she didn't want that to happen. She knew she was probably overreacting, anyway.