Lil ol me

My personal life

This is where shit gets deep. I'm not explaining my whole entire life, and I'm not trying to get pity. I'm also gonna say that I'm very grateful for what I've got. I know a lot of people don't have what I have and I'm not trying to look spoiled. Ok, let's do this.

I've never been a social butterfly. I mean, I've become more social over the years, but mostly, all of my friends came to me. Kind of sad when you think about it...
My life as a child was ok. I grew up for 11 years of my life in cape cod Massachusetts. I moved down to Florida in August of 2013.
Anyways, back to my childhood. I never had a lot of friends due to the fact of some mean kids spreading around stuff about my mom being a monster because she drank to much. So I was bullied a lot through half of my elementary years.
Fourth through sixth grade was ok. 5th grade was my first year of middle school and by then my old elementary school had shut down and I was now at a public school instead if private.
I was only at that school for one year before moving to Florida. I then attended six mile charter academy for three years (this is my third and final year.) Yep. The worst yet best three years of my life. It sucked because this school is filled with shitty people, but, if you search hard enough, through all the shitty people, you find a couple good ones. Those people are my best friend Tatyana, my girlfriend Abby, my "brother" Joey, and my other best friend Kendall. These four people have made all those crappy years at six mile bearable. I can't thank them enough for that.

Anyways! In seventh grade I really struggled with my sexuality, and who I was. And my "friends" weren't really helping me. In fact, they threw me under the bus, twice. Anyway, I had one girlfriend who lasted I lasted two months with. And this particular girl (not mentioning names) was Catholic. Very catholic. And her family did not support the lgbt community. A while later I decided to break up with her due to rumors and the fact that I don't think she liked me like I liked her. After all that fun shtuff, me and Tatyana became friends. Nothing much to say there. Things went ok.
During the summer after seventh grade, I went to an acting camp and met a boy. We hit it off, but he then told me that he had a girlfriend and was moving to New Jersey after camp. I was pretty sad, because I really liked him. But I got over it. We still have each other's phone numbers. It's sad though because we stopped talking after eighth grade began.

I am now in eighth grade. I have found out who I am and feel (not very) down to earth (but I'm better than last year)

During my sixth and seventh grade years I struggled with a lot of depression. I really hated myself in every way. Bullying really didn't help much either. I remember having fights a lot with my mom and dad because I just didn't want to get out of bed. I eventually got myself into self harm. My parents found out in my seventh grade year and I was sent to therapy. Which didn't help. I had to go once every week. I felt like a freak being called down to go home just to go to therapy. And my "friends" at the time didn't help. I honestly didn't want to live to see my eighth grade year.
I remember trying to commit suicide at least three times.

But thank god I survived and kept going because if I didn't, then I wouldn't have met the amazing people I've met, or done the amazing things I've done. I wouldn't have met all my good friends, I wouldn't have seen all my old ones, and I wouldn't have met my amazingly amazing girlfriend of now four months. (Our "relationship" if you can even call it that is still complicated as hell and she can be a huge bitch but so can I and its impossible for me not to love her so we're just stuck with each other now.) ^~^

I still go to therapy. Just not as often. Yes, I have relapsed into self harm about three times but that was a long time ago. Yes I still suffer with depression but it's not as bad. I do suffer from panic attacks and "voices" but they're not as frequent anymore. I'm also very twitchy, but enough about my fucked up mind. I'm happy, and that's all that matters. ^_^

Yeah, I'm over dramatic. Yeah I'm bitchy and sarcastic. I'm really freaking annoying and pretty stupid. And I don't have the best self esteem either. BUT IM STILL FABULOUS SO FUCK YOU. 🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻