Dear My Broken Self

Second Chances

Do you see us in the future?

My weight resting on your body
As you hold me with your assuring arms?
I wake you up with a kiss on the nose
And you respond with a sweet, revenge-filled tickle?
Or how about when you intertwine your fingers with mine
Squeezing my hand occasionally?

I asked you now, in the middle of the dark night
Through the bright screen of a cellphone
Not having enough courage to confront you face to face
Because I needed to know
Whether to keep loving you
Or let you go

I needed to know
If this was all my part
Or if you were picking away at the wall
On the other side
I'm sure you were wondering too
Because you loved me too, right?
At some point you did?
Or at least you thought?

I was scared of making mistakes
And I let you go because of that fear
If I knew you would disappear
I wouldn't have let go of your hand
I regret leaving you

I want you to come back
But I'm scared you'll leave me
Like what I did
I'm afraid of making more mistakes

Will the future reveal us?
What about our happy ever after?
Do we even get one?

But I look at us now
You look right through me
With just a single glance
And I pass by you
Ignoring my lingering feelings
Walking away from a "stranger"

Second chances are hard to come by
If only I didn't throw away the first one