Midnight Kisses| ✓

Chapter 7

I meant bathroom air.

Since I have never been Seth's house before I don't where to go so I ask his mother who is hovering outside the room. I don't care if she has heard what is going inside the room. I just mumble to her asking directions to the bathroom.

She has a tray in her hand. Three fizz sodas and cookies. She points me to the general direction of it then hands one to me and I take it without arguing, wiping the tears from my face on the sleeve of my sweater.

I eat the cookie sitting on the lid of the commode. I half realize how gross it is. I am one of these people now. Who does everything in the bathroom. Watching tv. Playing games or reading newspapers. I would never be able to bring my mobile with me inside here. There's always a chance I would make it fall inside and then I would have to pick it from the dirty water. That used to be one of my nightmares, one of my what if things I used to think a lot about before my life flipped completely. Now I would be happy to pick that nightmare over the ones I have now. Which make no sense. The distant cry I always hear before waking up rings in my ear in my ears.

When will life get better for me? Maybe now that I am in a Christian house Jesus will finally notice me

I take small breathes trying to calm myself down, which is hard because I am hiccuping in between. I always hiccup when I cry and my eyes become really red and I have to put cocnealor to hide my raccoon eyes. Thankfully I take it everywhere with me to hide my dark circles thanks to missing all the hours of sleep.

It seems like I have been here for hours before somebody knocks, or maybe it's just fifteen minutes.

"Hey Kris?" Novak calls out.

"I am okay" I say. He's come to check on me but right now I don't want to talk to him or anybody.

"It's not that," his voice is urgent. "I really gotta pee. There's no other bathroom here."

Oh I say. I feel a bit disappointed which is really stupid. Why would he care if I cry or die.

I wash my face with the freezing tap water that makes my hand numb but my eyes feel good when I splash it on them. There's no time to put on the mascara and I open the door hoping I don't look like the twin sister of a panda.

"Hey," Novahk says when I come out. He's leaning on the wall and he has this soft smile on hs face. Novahk's smiles can be classified into three types. Half moon smile that make you feel something else, the quiet one that tells you that reminds you of this moment and everything in it, including him with HD clarity and the third is the one that takes up the whole of his face.

Personally I like the half moon ones the best.

"Go in." I say gesturing towards the room.

"You know what? I have changed my mind. I was just thinking I might have to go to the bathroom. Now I don't," he says putting his hand over his head and hanging out his head like he's done a grave mistake.

"So your bladder, like pulled in itself," I ask. I feel the start of hysterical laugh in my mouth. The situation is so fucked up and yet I can't help but think what he would think if I folded myself into me and transferred some of my grief to the surrounding. Let its entropy increase and mine decrease.

"Something like that," he rubs the back of his head.

Instead of leaving Set's house like I think we would ,we go back to his room, Novahk ushering me inside, tugging at my hand. His hand is warm and so very big, it engulfs the whole of mine.

Seth is hard at work on his computer. He stops when we come in though and Novahk makes me sit down on the chair next to Seth. His hands are on my shoulder and even through three layers of fabric I feel the contact. I don't want him to stop touching me.