paper thin (phan)

o n e

(a/n: I properly made a Spotify account and have made public playlists for this book (and others too)! My spotify is audratpad, the playlist is called Paper Thin. So either listen to the songs during or after the book.)

Everything had hurt. His head, his heart, his stomach.

His head from pulling on his hair as he sobbed. His heart from having it broken by the boy he loved. His stomach from constantly heaving while he struggled to breathe.

He felt stupid, because all of the pain he was in was his own fault. Dan let himself fall for him. He fell without even knowing if he would catch him.

He hadn't caught him.

And honestly, Dan falling mentally hurt just as bad as falling physically.

Dan's stepbrother was downstairs with the TV loud. It drowned out his cries and swallowed up his sadness.

Dan stood on shaky legs, feeling dizzy as he trailed to his desk. He stared at the sketch he had done of the boy he loved and snatched it up, staring at the picture.

Tears poured just as hard as the rain was outside, the pitter-patter beating against the window like his heart beat against his chest. Thunder roared like the voices in his head, lightning flashing like the memories and flashbacks in Dan's mind.

"Never again," Dan murmured, his voice cracking like an old record spinning on a vinyl. "I'll never let myself fall again."

Suddenly he was crumpling the sheet and shredding it to pieces. He rose and wobbled to the window, opening it and relishing in the cold droplets that blemished against his revealed skin. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, pulled his arm back, then threw it out the open window. Dan watched as the paper flew and landed within a puddle, instantly flattening and drooping.

He shut his window, leaning back against the wall and sliding down onto it. "I'm never going to fall for Phil Lester again," he promised himself.

But that promise was just as empty as him.

❦

"I hate you!"

Dan jumped at the sudden yell, his hands still fumbling through his locker as he turns. Sure enough, a small brunette is yelling at the school player.

And that school player is Phil Lester.

The blue-eyed teenager is known for his famous one-night stands and crude humor. Phil Lester was a mess. He was like a poisonous snake that some were fascinated by and others feared. A whirlwind of attitude and popularity, yet nobody took shelter when he passed by in the halls. That is- when he was actually in the hallway, as he usually ditched for days at a time or was in in-school-suspension for just as long.

"The feeling's mutual," he heard Phil reply smugly, unphased after the girl had shoved him and ran off.

Dan was quiet, but he never talked to Phil anyway. The guy was intimidating, even with the fact that their moms are best friends. He was forced to eat dinner with him numerous times and make small talk, but if Dan had the chance to keep his mouth shut, he'd took it. Every. Time.