paper thin (phan)

f i v e

fanart bu @phantastic_phantasian

tw// minor anxiety attack

"I am now grounded for a month, so no sending me memes while my p-parents have my phone."

Phil pouted. "Then be prepared for a spam when you get it back," he responded, a lopsided smirk growing on his lips. Dan raised an eyebrow, continuing to walk with him through the halls of the school.

"Aren't you grounded too?"

"I guess you could say that, but my mom doesn't care enough to actually take anything away or put me on house arrest. She couldn't even if she tried," he told Dan,  then they parted ways when they entered the cafeteria.

Dan found Louise near the corner of the table, eating next to her crush named Charlie. He instantly felt his heart begin to beat faster since Charlie was much taller and attractive, so he paused to pull out a crumpled piece of paper and fiddled with it. He sat down in front of them, flashing the boy a smile.

"Dan, right? You're in my maths class," Charlie smiled warmly, extending his hand out. Dan flinched unintentionally and Charlie noticed, slowly putting his hand down. "Sorry. Anyways: I'll talk to you later, Louise! Bye, Dan!" He sat up and wandered to his group.

"I think I-I scared him o-off, I didn't mean t-to-"

"It's fine, Dan. If he doesn't like you then I won't like him either, got it?" Louise responded, flashing a reassuring grin. Louise began to pick at her food, pausing and dropping her sandwich back to her plate. She shot Dan a coy look. "Alright, spill. You missed school yesterday, you walk in with Phil Lester- you didn't do anything with him, right?"

"N-no, Lou, gross!" Dan groaned. "He came to the treehouse when I was there and we ended up falling asleep there. Innocently! Anyways, we were already late when we woke up so we ditched school and j-just went to a coffee shop."

"You need to be careful, okay Dan? You know his reputation and I don't want you becoming a victim of it. The year's halfway through, just keep on tight pants and you'll be fine!"

"I'm not gonna screw with him, Lou. We were fine years ago-" Dan cut himself off, realizing he shouldn't have brought up the past of them. "I didn't m-mean to s-say that."

"You guys have history? Since when?"

"I grew up with h-him. . ." Dan responded sheepishly, his voice low as he avoided eye contact. "Our mothers were best friends so he c-came over a lot for dinner and we played at the same park. Nothing special."

"So you never had any feelings for him, right?"

Dan gulped. "N-no."

"You stuttered."

"I have a stutter, Louise."

"Okay, true. Still- you're being suspicious. But alright, if you don't wanna talk about it, I won't force it anything out of you. Just remember your worth, please."

Dan simply nodded, hiding the blush behind his fringe and reaching down with his free hand to crumple his paper.

And then a different piece of crumpled paper hit his back. Louise froze, looking up, and by the newly shown facial expression she portayed, Dan could tell it was Jason that had done it. Louise then turned back to Dan, shooting him a look with a message that told him to ignore it. But then Jason started talking.

"Hey, Howell, don't you want the crumpled paper? Or are you too busy crying over nothing?"

Students around them paused their conversations to watch. Dan's fists clenched.

"You gonna ignore him? We already know you have a stutter, no need to hide it!" A voice piped in. Hushed whispers and snickers rang out.

"Say something, weirdo!"

Weirdo.

"Don't just sit there like a little freak!"

Freak.

"Quit being so depressed!"

Depressed.

He could feel himself shaking and looked up to see Louise going red with anger, holding back any strings of curse words or shouts she wanted to hurl at the group of boys. He parted his lips to try and breathe better, but it wasn't helping. He shut his eyes, but he still knew everybody was watching him. Everybody was waiting for him to snap, to get up and run, or even throw something or scream- but nothing. Dan sat like a statue, squeezing the paper between his hand so hard his knuckles turned white.

"No wonder your real parents gave you up!"

And then Dan broke. He shot up, grabbing his bowl of soup, turning on his heel, then throwing the food directly at his bully. "Shut up! You don't know anything about me! You think this makes you a better person? You're an asshole, Jason, and I hope you burn in hell! We all know you're failing all your classes, quit trying to act smart, you fucking twat!"

And then everybody shut up. Including Dan, and Jason. He had said all of that without a single stutter or hesitation.

But the moment quickly dropped when Dan went back to reality and could feel how dizzy and nauseous he was, he could feel all eyes on him and how quiet it now was. So he took one last look at Phil who had sat there doing nothing the whole time, shook his head, then ran out the cafeteria crying. Louise called out his name but Dan wouldn't stop, only kept sprinting until he reaches the bathroom.

Dan lunges himself into a stall, locking it and holding back sobs as his body shook. He held himself tightly, trying to calm down. His heart was beating so loud he thought the whole building would hear it. He waits for a minute, evening his breathing, then unlocks the door. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees nobody followed to laugh at or taunt him.

Then Dan did something he never thought he'd do. He goes back to his locker, grabs his backpack with all his things packed, and walks right out the building. He doesn't even go back to the cafeteria to tell Louise or Phil where he's going, he just leaves and walks and walks until he finds the treehouse.

He climbed up the ladder, throwing his backpack to the side and laying down. He fell asleep, wanting to stay up in the treehouse forever.