Thomas was depressed. He had just been dumped by Patricia Teletubbie. He decided to take a pork blood bath. Teletubbie town did not have running water so the pork blood he sucked from glutinous pigs would have to do.
After he completed his cleansing he decided to go to his Selena Gomez shrine to clear his thoughts an worship his beloved Selena. He worshipped like he had never worshipped before. He twerked and twerked until his hips gave out and he fell to the floor with a deafening crash.
Hours later he dragged his sore body into the satanic worshipping circle. He knew there was no time for sitzpinkling over Patricia. However he relished in the security of not having to worry about Patricia since she worshipped Wookie Jesus.
Thomas settled into the monotonous prayers of satan's worshippers. Unfortunately with all the silent mumblings he allowed himself to think about HER.
He loved her and she loved him. That was the thing. Thomas loved the feeling of being loved and wanted. As they frolicked in the demon flower fields Patricia looked over to him and said the words he never wanted to hear her say.
She was probably relieved about breaking up. Thomas was unsure how to recieve the feeling of love again. He wasn't even sure how to handle the emptiness. Ironically, when he got home from demon flower field he didn't even cry. All he felt was the terrible aching behind his solar plexus. She had hurt him to much.
He rushed out of the Satan circle he knew who he had to contact. Beyoncé. Bey Bey had been there for him from the start. He decided to call her to get his mind off Patricia
B- yo bro did u fuck da bitch
T- No da fuggin asscake dumped me
B- well dats to bad you needin to be dancin on da poles
T- oh hells to da no
T- well maybe
B- well shit it's a deal organic expensiver than ur college tuition vodka for everyone
