I'm so sad I wish things would just go back to fucjing normal I wish I could speak to ppl I wanna speak to and be happy and get support from some one I love and fucking care about, I wish I was home, I wish I was a better person I wish I was home and on top of all of this I lowkey wish u was dead so I didn't have to fuck everything up any more. TBH it'd make everyone else's life easier and I wouldn't have to stress so fucking much but I'm a pussy and wouldn't do it TBH. mostly for my mom. she doesn't need that rn. she doesn't need to lose anyone else. and she's already losing her friend that's dying and it sucks. idk life is just really hard ya know ? I just don't know what to do. And I was talking to my therapist and she says I miss a lot of things and it's true. I miss my little cousin and how she doesn't want me to be sad and knows I am at only 3 but makes me feel better. I miss my mom who makes me feel great. I miss my sister who I can just play around with. I miss my fucking best friend who I could just talk to and I don't have to worry about anything and I can know she cares about me. I MISS MY FUCKING DAD it's been so long since he's died but I do I really really fucking do I really do and idek if he's proud of me bc I'm just not a good person and god life fucking sucks rn and idk what to do. I'm at a low right now. A very low low and I don't know what to do with myself and cus its so hard going through this shit and having only support with from my counselor and therapist once a week and from my mom who is there but still so far away. It's like I have nothing im holding on to fucking nothing and idk what to do I really dont. I'm so sick of it I just wanna be fucking happy again like is that too much to ask?
ps. listen to pretty girl by little dragon it's good :/
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my life succs
Randomthis is literally just gonna be a collection of rants about my life from here until I inevitably stop an get too lazy to update
