To Be Alone

Nine

This chapter is dedicated to julixtta, whose poem 'Shades of Blue', introduced me to poetry and started my love for reading it!

When I finally broke free from the cover of the trees I sprinted straight for the water, pulling off my clothes as I ran until I splashed out into the sea. I kept running even as it pulled at my knees and soon I tumbled over, giggling like a little child as I threw the water over my head. The water cooled my body, pulling the sweat away and seemed to regenerate my bones.

Water had always had some power over me, I had learnt to swim very early and I had made it onto all the school swim teams until I was twelve. There wasn't a day that would go by without me returning home wet haired, swimsuit thrown haphazardly into my light green bag. Every morning I woke with a stiff neck from sleeping with wet hair yet I could hardly see the point of drying my hair when the very next morning I would be in the pool. Then, when I was twelve, I had started to develop, like all the other girls my age. I had thought nothing of it, each day I would pull on my swimsuit without a care in the world, eager to feel my body relax as it hit the water.

That was, until Melissa thought it would be a great idea to point out how she could almost see my breasts through my swimsuit.

She was one of those girls who turned up to sports lessons simply because she had to. She was the girl who had been using the 'I'm on my period' excuse ever since she had learnt what one was, and the type of girl who sneered at anyone who actually enjoyed sport (or to be honest at anyone who was actually better then her at anything).

Verity, her twin and sidekick, had then gone on to claim that "Of course Leila wants everyone to see her breasts, she's a lesbian!" Everyone in the changing room had laughed, and a few had even run to get away from me, squealing. I had been utterly humiliated. None of what they had said was true, the only girl I had ever kissed to his day has been Aggie, as a dare, and my breasts were definitely not big enough to see anyways, but I had never felt so miserable and embarrassed. That same night I had quit the swim team and nothing anyone said to me could get me to change that. When Aggie, Felix and Luke had heard what Melissa and Verity had said they had been so mad that they had spent all their pocket money buying eggs to throw at her house. Every year on the anniversary of what came to be known as 'the unspeakable event' they had come together to spend a ludicrous amount of money on eggs and toilet paper.

Yet even when the twins left three years later I had never considered rejoining.

Now however I was free to swim to my hearts content, and I was reveling in it. Over the course of the month I had spent here my muscles had slowly woken up in remembrance. And to tell you the truth, it felt marvelous.

Mango sat on the shore watching me. I had been trying to get him to come in the water with me but so far the waves still seemed to terrify him. Even as I watched a big swell came towards him and he scarped back up to the safety of the cabin. I giggled quietly and walked up after him, squeezing my hair as I went.

"Mango!" I paused outside the entrance to the cabin and peered inside. Curled up on the woven mattress I had made was Mango, looking up at me with wide eyes. I smiled and ran in, throwing my arms open to hug him. Just before I reached him he chattered loudly and ran out through my legs.

I tilted my head back and stretched my arms above my head. "Perhaps we should work on that hug" I muttered before throwing myself down on the mattress and stretching out. Light came in through the slits in the walls and scattered across the floor in thin lines. My mattress was pressed up in one corner with my now broken watch hanging above it as a memento, next to which hung a bunch of dried flowers. A few petals broke off as I watched and drifted down to settle near my head. Opposite the bed was a large flat stone upon which white lines marked out my calendar. Thirty-four lines, for thirty-four days. The only other thing in the room was a pile of fuel for the fire, in case it rained and the pile outside became wet. That happened to me the second week after I arrived here, and I hadn't been able to start a fire for four days. That was not an experience I hoped to relive.

The room may not be much; however, it was my room. My home. It was a home that I had spent many weeks building and was the only place I currently had in the world to shelter in. In that sense I was luckier then many. At least I had somewhere to call mine.

My eyes fluttered closed and I began to drift off to the sounds of birds. I had become better at distinguishing which bird made which noise, however I still had a long way to go before I could truly call myself a 'bird-aficionado'. A horn sounded in the distance and I groaned, rolling over to get more comfortable. My eye began to grow heavy and a small sigh escaped my lips...

Wait.

I sat up abruptly and strained my ears. Had I just heard a horn? A man-made horn?

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my-" I scrambled to my feet and sprinted out the shelter, holding a hand to protect my eyes from the sudden change in light as I strained to look. It couldn't be real, could it?

Yet there, on the horizon and silhouetted against the water, was a boat.

***

Argh what do you all think? Also how do you like the new cover I made?

Love Tilly xx