So, my brother had his friend over, and my girlfriend was coming to pick me up so that we could hang out (I was very grateful for an escape from those morons), and I went downstairs to wait for her to pick me up, and I saw what I thought was my headband being put on Braden's friend's head; so I ran over, snatched it while yelling "Don't fucking touch my stuff!" As it turns out, it was actually toilet paper.
"I didn't know the toilet paper belonged to you!"
"I guess we can't use her roll! We could just use doggy bags instead!"
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS EVEN DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
"We're trying to give him an eye patch!"
And then I began trying to ignore them as I continued to get ready. I came back into the kitchen and my brother was pronouncing "milk" like "melk" on purpose, so, naturally, I started arguing with him about it. Then, I grabbed the milk from the fridge and charged at him with it, screaming "HERE, HAVE SOME DAMN MILK!"
As I went to put the milk back in the refrigerator, my brother claimed that I had said "melk", which I hadn't, and so I grabbed the bottle of ketchup and threw it at him, " AND SOME DAMN KETCHUP AS WELL!"
After they walked away, I picked up the ketchup, gave it a hug, and said, apologetically, "I'm so sorry, ketchup, I just needed something to throw at my idiotic brother. You understand, don't you? I promise that it is highly unlikely that I will throw you like that again." And put it back in the fridge.
And that, my friends, is the story of how I apologised to ketchup.
