Riley's POV
It's like you want to be angry, but you can't be. You want to yell and tell her how ungrateful she is, but you know that's not it, and that's not her. Maya never had much, and she took nothing for granted. Maybe Farkle, but secretively, she was. So I'm not angry. I'm scared. My dad said Maya can't leave her plate until she eats enough. They have been sitting there for an hour. Maya is staring forward, he is staring at her. He is not angry either. It's gotten old, but we have to deal with it. We have to get her through, because she can't rely on herself. So it's just us.
Maya's POV
I swear that I'm not just being stubbed by sitting here like this. I just can't stand the thought of putting anything in my mouth. I'm a little scared. But part of me says this is great. I don't have to deal with cravings. Say something. Tell him you're scared. I can't. My throats dry. It hurts.
I wake up before the sun. Why? Why did I have to get in that habit? I force my aching body out of Riley's bed. She is still sound asleep. After changing, I sneak out. The air is cooler. It is mid October. School started in mid September. My mother is still filming. I am still living at the Matthews. And they don't know that I have lost nine more pounds. They have not seem me. Not only have I cut my left, but my right. And I know I am going to die. I have to let it happen.
After a run, I sneak back into the shower right before Riley wakes up. Coming out, I see Mr.Matthews standing in the hall.
"Morning, sir."
"What time have you been up since?"
"Twenty minutes?"
"Riley woke up at five and you weren't there. She went back to sleep, woke up, and you're here. Where were you?" I love down at my feet, thankful for my thick baggy sweater. "Exercising?" I don't dare look at him. "I'm so tired of this. You don't even want to get better. If you wanted to get better, you would stop exercising." He thinks it's that simple. I walk past him, leaving before he can even attempt to make me eat. I think he is giving up.
He did in fact. I haven't lifted my fork. He hasn't done anything. I can see Mrs.Matthews looking at him out of the corner of my eye. He drops his fork.
"What do you want me to do?" He says, throwing his hands up. "I give up! Go die, Maya. if that's what you really want. Then go fucking kill yourself!"
Auggie jumps. I look at them. How could I do this. Come in, and destroy a perfect family. There are tears falling that I can't help.
"I'm sorry." My hands go to my face. Riley puts her hand on me but he tells her to take it off. She doesn't.
"If she was sorry, she would eat." I am. I am sorry. But I can't.
