suicidal √

understanding {the past}

"so, lana, are you ready?"
"for what, lex?"
"to tell me the whole story?"
sigh.
"are you sure after hearing what happened
you wont leave me?"
"yes baby, trust me."
i dragged him to the sofa.
i gathered myself before turning
my whole body towards him.

"are you ready?"
"ready as i will ever be."
"ok."
i held his hands.
"firstly, my mom was proclaimed dead.
then, my dad was in a depressive state.
he tied me up on that day,
injected some drugs in me."
i showed him the small scar on my elbow.
"then, i felt suicidal.
i took 4 pills from the medicine cabinet.
i too felt scared of death.
but, that day, oh god.
that was the worst of what happened.
Alex, he threw me down in the basement.
naked.
there were 4 men there.
they raped me."
by then, sobs filled the entire apartment.
he engulfed me in a hug.
"its okay baby. i am here now."
i pushed him away.

"i am not finished yet.
you wanted to know all."

"that can be another time baby.
come here.
its okay."