A New Start

Chapter 9

I woke up frantically looking for Harry at my side, but there was only a small note.

"Goodmorning beautiful. Breakfast is on the kitchen counter downstairs for you. If I'm not home by the time you wake up I haven't gotten back from my jog. Still can't stop thinking about last night xx".

Heat rushed to my cheeks as I remembered the moment we had just the night before. I threw on a sweater since it was chilly in the house and walked downstairs towards the kitchen where Harry left me cereal and fresh cut fruit with a glass of orange juice. I sat there eating and waiting patiently for him to return.

My head snapped up when I heard the front door click, and I quickly ran my fingers through my hair to look somewhat presentable since I still had bed head. I turned my head and smiled at Harry who stood in the doorway. In some way, the state he was in made him look much better looking than he already was. He was wearing black jogging pants and a black sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up and the hood over his head as his curls slightly peaked out of the sides. He still had one headphone in his ear, yet I heard the music blasting lightly from them.

He walked over to me and placed a light kiss on my left cheek as his hand lightly cupped my right. "Goodmorning gorgeous, did you sleep well?".

"Hm, yes I did thank you", I replied as I took a sip of my orange juice.

"I was thinking I would shower and then we could go meet our friends in town and sit somewhere and hang out for a bit if that's alright with you?", he asked unsure since I did never really like his friends until they all apologized.

It hit me that he said 'our' friends. Were they my friends? Yeah everything was fine now, but what if was just to make me feel better because Harry made them? I thought about that a lot; the thought of it all just being a lie because Harry could have made them apologize or how they just felt bad for me. I know I'm just overthinking everything, but it felt too soon for me to fully trust them, except Niall who I've opened up to a lot. 

"I think I might just stay home today and read my book a bit and watch movies if thats ok", I mumbled.

"B-but I wanted to spend the day with you", he said pouting. "Is something wrong babe or?".

"Well.. I don't know I just feel like everyone kind of just pities me now that I'm yo-", I hesistated because he never really did ask me to be his girlfriend. We never made it official, but it felt like it was obviously.

"Girlfriend?", he said finishing my sentence. "I thought you already were. I just kind of figured. But babe, it's not pity or anything, I think it just kind of hit them that they have to realize we are together and nothing can change that".

I nodded and sighed before brushing past him with my empty bowl and glass and putting them in the sink. I turned around and was greeted by him standing incredibly close to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, and began giving me reassuring kisses.

He pulled away and looked straight into my eyes. "Stop overthinking everything. They do truly like you, because you're perfect Ellie, don't ever forget that. They'd be crazy not to like you. Yeah, they were incredibly rude in the beginning but they do mean it when they say they want to start fresh with you. Please come with me today, they really do like you. If you get uncomfortable or anything, I'll be right there to take you home and we can watch movies and do whatever you want, ok?"

I smiled and gave him a kiss to thank him. I went upstairs and got ready, but not putting too much effort into my appearance since I didn't care too much. I just had to make myself look somewhat presentable. All I did was throw my hair up in a bun and throw on a sweatshirt that was loose and comfortable.

"Sorry if I look kind of gross, I kind of jus-", I was cut off once again by Harry.

"You always look perfect, stop it", he said before taking my hand and walking me out the door.

The drive to town was only about five minutes, and I immediately spotted all of Harry's friends standing outside a pizzeria. We parked directly in front of it, and they all waved at us as we got out of the car. Niall immediately ran over and hugged me, which seems to have become a habit with him. His hugs were always really comforting. I didn't really confront anyone else, except with just a simple 'hi'.

We all slid into a booth in the back of the pizzeria, with both Harry and I sitting on the end. I couldn't help but sit there shyly as they all laughed and looked so happy to be all spending time together. They talked about memories and how shitty school is, but I felt like I couldn't relate. I fiddled with my hands under the table, and began dazing out from the conversation.

"So Ellie, what's it like in New York?".

My head shot up, and I looked around everyone to find that it was Liam who asked the question.

"Oh well uh, it's really great. I've always loved it since I was little but, it's had its ups and downs." I looked back down again at my hands because I really didn't want to bring up anything about the hardships I've had the past few years.

Harry grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers under the table as a sign that he knew what was on my mind. I looked up to see Niall give me a  reassuring look, because both Harry and Niall were the only ones that really REALLY knew why I moved here. Before Niall could open his mouth and change the subject purposely, the pizza came and everyone began scarfing it down.

I suddenly couldn't get New York out of my mind, and how I was constantly making friends yet they would push me away and turn against me. What if that happens while I'm here? It's happened so many times, that the thought of being alone and depressed lurked in me, and I couldn't focus on the food that was in front of me.

"Are you ok?", Harry asked whispering in my ear.

"Yeah I'm fine, really. I'm just not really hungry or anything. I think I'm gonna just go get some fresh air", I said before sliding out of the booth.

I don't know why it upset me so much to be there, but it did. Sitting there and watching them all laugh and have a good time made me feel like an outcast, and the whole time I couldn't help but think about bad memories occuring in my mind over and over again, and how I did the exact same thing; I'd spend time with people thinking I might have a chance at having friends and that would all end quickly.

I couldn't help but feel a bit selfish about how I felt in that moment, because I should be happy that I was slowly easing my way into making friends. But I just felt like they would turn against me like all the other times.

I began walking back home, as tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. This happened a lot in New York too; the whole thoughts thing. Whenever I had something on my mind, it would constantly bother me till something got my mind off of it.

I slipped my headphones into my ear that I found buried in the pocket of my sweatshirt. As I put the first little white bud into my ear, I felt someone grab onto my arm; Harry.

"Where are you going? Wait... are you crying?", he asked worryingly as he cupped my cheek and lightly brushed the stray tears away.

"I'm sorry", I said in a whisper.

"What's wrong? I can tell something was bothering you in there but I couldn't exactly tell", he said.

"It's just... When I was in New York, all that happened to me was I would think that things were actually getting better but people would just turn against me and I'd be alone again. And I couldn't help but keep remembering all the bad things and thinking... what if that happens here in England? What if you realize I'm pointless and toss me to the side like everyone else seems to have done before?".

He closed the small space between us and pressed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled my hands in his hair lightly. The kiss was the kind that made me feel like everything was going to be okay, and that I was just overthinking things.

"You'll always have me. No matter what. I promise", he whispered as his forehead pressed against mine and he kissed me lightly one last time.

Hi, I'm really sorry it took so long to update. I was on vacation for 2 and a half weeks so I was constantly busy and I thought about updating but it was stressful so woo. Ok I'm sorry this chapter was kind of crappy, I'm just really tired. Ok adios :)