𝐎𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐲 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Part 19 ~ Just Like Before

Michael's Point Of View ~

The beautiful warm early morning air fills my tortured soul. The sounds of the birds chirping, as a way to remind everyone to wake and begin the new day. But today, I didn't want to open my eyes. Not after yesterday . . knowing that Eric has come back into Olivia's life. She knows that I'm upset and . . just not really myself but she doesn't know why, not exaclty. She wanted me to tell her last night but . . I couldn't. I didn't have the courage . . she was worried. Telling me she had to come into my room and talk to me as she noticing that I was just wasn't myself. 

And I wasn't. Ever since Eric came back . . I haven't been who I am. 

I try not to duel on it but most of the time I can't help it. It's a constant feeling of sadness and helplessness. To watch someone I'm in love with . . love someone else. God! My crush is serious. It's more than just a crush . . it's love, right? I believe others may describe it as unhealthy even. My thoughts are cut short when I hear the voice of Olivia and . . him. I roll my eyes at the noise of him. Ugh! What is it about Eric that always has Olivia running back to him? She does for some reason and now I just feel like some kind of stranger to her. I do wanna just tell her, talk to her. Baby, what happened? What am I to do now? I guess I should just move on but I can't seem to just walk away from my love for her . . there's just way too much. I just can't let it go. I can't. 

God! I would give her everything. If only she could see what she means to me. 

I look behind me to see the two of them trying to decide on what to have for breakfast. Olivia opening the fridge along with them both shrugging there shoulders on each suggestion that's mentioned. 

She smiles . . 

There it is. That smile . . her smile. A million butterflies invade my stomach. That image just stays with me always. Olivia is constantly there, in the back of my mind. I'm just in love with her. I look at her, knowing that I can't walk away. I can never just pack up and store my feelings away forever. For 10 years, it has never been that easy. 

"Morning Michael . . " Olivia says sweetly. Wrapping her arms around my neck from behind me, leaning down to kiss my cheek. 

I giggle. " . . morning, Liv . . "

She walks around to sit down opposite me with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"How are you feeling, Michael? . . " She asks, sounding quite concerned. 

I clear my throat. 

" . . um yeah . . better this morning, thanks Liv . . " I tell her, feeling kinda awkward. 

Eric comes out before any more words of conversation between us can be exchanged. He kisses her sweet lips. I just want to tell him to go away . . leave her and I alone. At first, it was Olivia that was left heartbroken and now it's me. But I can see how happy she is, even though it's not me that she seems to lose herself over. Olivia is trying . . wanting to be there for me. I know she's trying her hardest to figure out what's going on with me. But I can't allow her to get too close and have the possibility to figure it all out. 

Eric speaks . . 

"Olivia . . I'm sorry but I have to go. Work is calling me in . . " Eric says.  

" . . can we postpone today's plans? . . " 

Eric explains reading it off his phone. I look at Olivia, her face losing that light that I love so much. His voice is so irritating. Just go Eric and don't fucking come back. 

"That's okay . . we can do it next time . . " She says, putting on a smile. 

They kiss goodbye. Eric retreating back upstairs to get dressed quickly before coming back down, grabbing his car keys and heading out the front door without anything else said. I love how she is sitting in front of the rising sun . . it's giving her a gorgeous look. Like a halo. She looks like an angel. Her beautiful features turn sad, knowing that sudden news of Eric's last minute call to attend work as brought her such heart ache in a matter a seconds. Oh this hurts me. Seeing Olivia looking so down and disappointed. Well, I'm going to cheer her up. I stand from my seat. Crouching before her, placing my finger under her chin for her to lock those enchanting eyes of hers with my own.