The Sterling Theory

1

If my mom wanted me to learn things so I could prepare myself for the outside world, she should've proposed something like bring-your-kid-to-work- everyday to her boss.

Instead of being crammed in a room with people I couldn't tolerate, I'd be sitting in a corner and overlooking what everybody else was doing to earn a living. Maybe I'd get some pointers on how not to punch someone's face.

But no.

I'm supposed to walk through hallways with banging lockers and other kids talking about who posted what, and who liked it.

I was hoping to make a survival guide for the less fortunate in the social heirarchy. So far, I have these written down:

1. You do not mess with whoever wears the jacket. Either it be leather, or one of the school's sports teams'.

2. You do not mess with any of the girls involved with the guy who wore the jacket.

3. You do not ask/answer questions that would get you into trouble.

All you had to do was be with a group of people and stick with them. Or you could go with plan B and go solo. No drama, or late night calls for you to pick 'em up.

Of course I could've joined the guys who thought the library was a bachelor pad, and in a way, it was. Or the book club that hid a stash of playboy magazines under all their novels. Maybe even the fellas who had glow-in-the-dark stickers in their club room and handed out flyers of 'Join the Dark Side' every school year.

I smiled at one of the representatives once. The next thing I knew, I was slammed on a locker.

I must say, it was the best first day yet.