Random Thoughts and Fangirl Spot

10: Mom Probs

April 8th, 2016
6pm
Friday

So, most of us got them- Mom Probs.

So first things first, my mom is one of those typical cliche Asian moms that make their kids do SAT prep in 6th grade and has their kids basically applying for college by the time they're in 7/8th grade. So I'm in 8th grade now, and-

6:10pm

Sorry my mom came in the car and she doesn't like it when I'm on my phone, anyways, a few weeks ago she told me to "Dream Big" about future jobs and stuff cuz she's literally so adamant on making sure I know what I want to major in before I leave 8th grade. (Ps I live in the US) . And so my "dream job" would be to pursue something in the entertainment industry, like music production or something similar. So I told my mom that today and she's like "Are you kidding me? I told you to dream big and you come up with this? Forget that, put it to the side, that won't make you enough money to feed yourself." And she said some other bullsh*t about how I need to forget about pursuing things in music unless it's to major in violin. And that I should look into the medical field or engineering or whatever.

And so now I'm in a pissy mood. 🙃 just lovely.

Anyways, my goal MY NUMBER ONE GOAL: Make my own music this summer and show her I CAN do it. Not lyrics, though if anyone writes lyrics and would want to work together in down with that. I like making the music part of it.

Also, it's always "did you do your hour of SAT prep today?" "Did you do BYU today" (an online class where I take an advanced math class cuz my mom wants be to be ahead pshhh) "have you practiced today?" EVERY FCKING TIME WE SPEAK. Or SOMEHOW my future high school and college careers are ALWAYS brought up EVERY FCKING TIME WE SPEAK.  Like chill! I want to live my live a little too and not have to grow up so fast. I know that I should be thankful that my mom cares about my future so much, but it gets really tough, especially when she starts comparing you to other (Asian) kids who have gotten into universities like Stanford or John Hopkins with full rides.

Me? I want to go to Berkeley or UCLA, I just want to go to Cali or NY. But pshhhh apparently I have "no chance" of getting into them if "I keep not focusing on my studies"

6:21pm

I'm just really tired of all this ya know? Back and forth back and forth between her and me. I just wanna quit everything so I don't have so much pressure on me! But that's letting her win...... I'm going to quit taking lessons for piano though probably after this school year. I'll have more time to make music on piano and have more time for sports.

Sorry more ranting, another thing. I LOVE volleyball! And I'm pretty good at it, not like enough to play varsity freshman year but probably enough to get into JV? Idk, but anyways I REALLY LOVE IT. But my mom says it'll take too much time away from practicing and studying. I've been doing it all middle school but once I get into high school I don't know what will happen. I'm trying out no matter what. I don't care if she says no, I'm finding someone to drive me to the high school. I'm gonna at least try out and see, and if I don't like high school VBall then fine, I'll stop. But until then........

Okay I think I'm done ranting for now, I know there's not many of you who read this, but it feels nice to get all this off my shoulders by writing it down.

Love you all,
Jaelynn