Love and why it sucks

Chapter 1: Old Friends new problems

Pg.1
As I mentioned my life is pretty normal. I hang with the same three people since 6th grade, Olivia, Aerial and my best friend Gavin. We go for coffee go to parties, go out to eat you name it we do it together, I'm more of the introvert but they always find a way to get me out of the house. I guess I should give a little background on myself before I get into this mess I'm calling my life at the moment. My hobbies include, Eating, sleeping, drawing and grindr. (Grindr is basically a gay hookup app)
Yes I said it GRINDR, don't judge we all have our needs. So the other night I was in there looking for... well do I need to explain? I don't think i do.  So I get this message from a headless torso profile, OBVIOUSLY a DL (down low) gay , but is body was so right so I was like "why not". His message said "hey goonie" which was a name my old friend josh used to call me. Now me and josh, we kinda have a history. So he was one of my best friends in 8th grade he was apart of "the goonie squad" which is what he named our friend group hence the nickname "goonie". So one night we had a sleep over at Josh's for the last day of school, the whole day I noticed how odd josh was asking, he's normally the one talking shit and cracking jokes mainly at me but this particular day he was so sweet. When we got to school he bought everyone Starbucks, and got me my fave breakfast burrito from my favorite Mexican place and I was so shocked by his spontaneous kindness, then he carried my bag for me ALL DAY and it's super heavy because that's what AP classes out you through,and he'd been sending signals all day and they increased after school when we got to his house for the sleepover, he kept suggesting we do kissing games like spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven but we settled on truth or dare. Surprisingly he didn't take the opportunity to do a freaky dare which threw me off. Later on, When everyone is sleep I got thirsty and got up to get some water, and before I can pass through the living room to turn on the kitchen light I hear josh's voice " dev" he said in a low voice I turn around and he's right behind me. The was a dead silence for s few seconds the he did something that changed our friendship for good. He just kissed me, just boom out of nowhere. Then as we kissed he just held me, like he'd been waiting for this to happen forever, I mean sure we were only in 8th grade but  that's what it felt like. Afterwards we went upstairs like nothing happened knowing we couldn't tell anyone, later in high school (sophomore year) I came out and by the josh and I had already not been talking much, in fact after that summer before freshman year we never hung out again, I got into art and he just left out friend group and joined the football team. So there you have it, the history on josh. So the rest of the Grindr covnvo with mystery guy went like this.
Me:" hey, do I know you?"
Him" idk maybe, but do you want to?" 
Me:"And what if I say yes"
Him: " Then go to Amy delayni's party on Saturday"
Now before I continue I thought that was creepy as hell, how are you gonna tell me to meet you somewhere and ain't NOBODY SEND A FACE PICTURE.
Me: I guess I'll go, but don't flake
Him: I've been waiting for this trust me I won't.
The following week was the week of Amy's party. Monday we get to school and get breakfast etc. Normal morning, then all of a sudden I hear "hey" from behind me so I turn around and ITS JOSH. Girl I don't know where my mind was at after that but I was so head fucked and I didn't really know how to respond so I was just like, " um heyy josh" " you got a second" he's says.  BITCH, ok so now I'm REAL shook. We go off to the side and my friends are looking at me like I'm absolutely fucking crazy, "so then he's like " listen I really don't like how we left things, you wanna get lunch and talk it out" I then reply with " I guess, sounds good, you're paying" he laughs then the bell rings and we go to class. So the whole day till lunch I'm thinking "BOY YOU DITCHED ME FOR THE FOOTBALL JOCKS WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT" girl I was really trying to figure out what we were even going to say to each other, so Lunch comes around and we go off campus to a sushi place down the street. " So I know you're probably a little mad at me but-" I cut him off  " um ya think? And why are you only talking to me you also ditched 3 other people!" I exclaimed " Listen  is gonna talk to everyone individually but just hear me out, I miss you guys, being on that team, around those guys, isn't me" he said "then why'd you join? Why'd you leave your friends and not give us any explanation?" I asked "because I felt like I had to be the normal son my mom always wanted, I mean I'm all she has now." He said " that's understandable but all you had to do was talk to us." I said " I didn't know how to." He says
So throughout the week we all became cool with him again and Friday comes around (day before the party) and he texts me after school

Him: hey😜
Me: hi🤗
Him: So I was thinking we could ride together to the party, you down?
Me: sure, just text me what time.
Him: ok cool, can't wait to see you
Him: guys
Me: Lol ok see you tomorrow.
After this I knew something was up.