Love and why it sucks

Chapter 1: old friends new problems

Pg.2
He was being SO nice to me and on top of that now he was me to go with him to the party. Something is definitely not right with this picture. So the next day arrives and it's the day of the party and everyone's meeting up at my house to get ready, eat before we get wasted etc. So 7:30 rolls around which means its
About time to leave and everyone is grabbing last minute items before we go, then the doorbell rings and it's Josh, "Hey guys what's up?" he's says to us "hey josh..." we all awkwardly say simultaneously. Aerial glares at me and says "Dev hey, can I talk to you real fast?" "Sure just let me-  "NOW" she exclaims
She takes me upstairs and says, "Devin, I know we're all cool with him again but that doesn't me we get all buddy buddy so quick!"  " I understand that but we were already so close before, I don't see why we can't pick up where we left off." I said " Well be careful, the last thing I want is another fallout." She said " I understand" I replied
So fast forward we're at the party and josh isn't looking for ONE girl, literally he's just stuck to me the whole time which I find very odd, considering I've seen him at parties in the past and he's now to be quite a big womanizer. Well either way I'm not complaining, he's proving to be good company, he's funny, nice and easygoing just like middle school, it's almost like nothing ever happened between us at all.
So as I've said before I'm one of the few out gay kids at my school and with that comes backlash from none other than the jocks and rednecks and unfortunately one of the jocks picked tonight to fuck with me, big mistake. Darrel is the starting quarterback for our school 4 years in a row and the womanizer of all womanizers and also the asshole of all assholes. He decides to come up behind me and shoulder bump me and say" quit looking at our dicks and watch where you're going faggot" so me being fed the fuck up went full on Madison Montgomery on his ass and I said " well what's there to look at? We all know your (little)secret, Audrey, shannon and Lisa had no problem spilling all the dirt on what you lack *looks down at his dick* it must really burn that a faggot has a bigger dick than you'll ever have you pathetic self loathing try-hard, well you don't try hard enough that 'manly' façade ain't thick enough to hide your fruity tendencies, try again next time" then he gets mad and he's all "what you say?" Then he gets in my face and GIRL there's it's where it heats up.
So josh steps in front of me and is like "You got 2 seconds" then Darrel's ugly ass goes " or what.... lil bitch" the BAM I blink and Darrel is the floor. And that's when it happened I stared becoming hot for josh, but was I gonna show it, HELL NO!
So the party is over and we are on the way home and the whole way back to my house he's flirting HARD! Compliments on EVERYTHING I had on and everything I did, say how he missed, telling me a looked good MULTIPLE times, the whole nine!
So the whole time in my head I'm like, boy I'm not dumb like I know the game this isn't my first time with a DL guy trying to get in my pants, and I'm NOT LETTING YOU HIT!!
So we get to my house, and he says "damit!"
"What is it" I replied " so I can't find my keys and my folks are gone, you mind if I crash here?"
Ok now here's everything wrong with this picture,
1)I'm drunk
2) drunk= horny
3) horny= riding him into sunset
So this would be the perfect opportunity to try and get my clothes off, which even further strengthens my theory of him being a DL fuckboy. But I can't say no cause what if he's not lying and not a fuck boy and I'm just cross faded and overthinking. So I'm like "sure that's fine."
We get inside and I immediately hit the fridge because food is the key to not feeling like shit after you drink, but when I get in the kitchen I'm just fucking everything up so he says " hey can you gab me some pajamas and I'll do this" I drunkenly reply "yeeeaaaa *giggle*" so I go upstairs and get the Pjs and I come back down and he's preparing to cook a full course dinner! Um husband material? I THINK SO! He gets done cook long a brings me my plate and I'm tearing that food up! "*giggle* is it good?"

He asks me "oh yes" I reply "really?" He asked "yes, really" "Well I could think of something better" he says all smooth and sexy. And I though he was gonna flirt but him being the oblivious guy home he says " American horror story! Oh my gosh coven is the best season" which wasn't all bad cause at least I could now know forsure he's gay, not because he likes AHS but because his favorite season is COVEN. Yes gayness confirmation successful. So we had stayed up all night just talking about, well everything! And the best part was he never tried a THING! So while we were talking it got late and I got tired, so I say "lord it's cold in here, I have no idea why my heater isn't working." Without me asking a thing he climbs in bed with me and wraps his arms around me and asked "That better?" I mean he just held me and I felt so secure safe and warm then I said "so much better" " it could stay like this, soon, when I'm ready we can pick up where we left off that night" he said softly in my Ear as was laid there " I hope you're not just playing me, because I know the games DL guys play and I want no part in that" *taps me to turn over and face him* " I want to ymake you happy and want to give you everything I should've when I ditched for those years, trust me. I wanted to tell you that night on Grindr but I knew u wouldn't talk to me then, let me show you I can love you devin, give me time and I promise I'll prove it."
I- omg I really couldn't believe what was happening he was really just cuddling knowing

he's risking his reputation. All of this made me so much more attracted to him and way more confused.