Freak Week

Every Villain is Lemons (E.V.I.L)

Dear Robo-D,

Day three, huh? This day might be the end of me. Why is that you ask? Two things, actually. First, we're talking out loud in text speech. People are literally L-O-Ling. It's so obnoxious. Second, my mortal enemy has risen to destroy my beautiful future with Crush. His name is Villain (I know, fitting) and he is the absolute worst.

Let me tell you why, Robot Diary. One time in second grade he told me that five quarters was worth more than my twenty-dollar bill and he tricked me into trading with him! I couldn't eat lunch all week! Then another time in third grade he told me the school bathroom was haunted and I went through a torturous year of never using the toilet at school. And in fourth grade he tripped me into a pile of dog poop in front of all my friends. Dog poop. That stuff is so not as cute as the smiling pile of poo emoji. It stinks and it stains and I actually don't want to talk about it because it was so mortifying.

And for the cherry on top of that delicious mountain of memories, he knows about my huge crush on Crush. He could spill it at any moment and ruin me.

He'd showed up this morning as we were preparing for the day. Mr. Kevin decided that if we were to survive the week we would have to make it to the school roof. I know it sounds easy, but we don't know what's out there. I kind of half-expect flying monkeys or like, giant French fries falling from the sky. Which would be awesome, but still probably not good.

So anyway, we're getting ready to head out to the cafeteria when suddenly the doors to the basement fly open and light burst into the dim room, momentarily blinding and stunning us all. You'd think an angel had showed up, but instead turned out to be the devil.

"What the %*$#%!" Harry cried out.

"It's a bird!" Marmie said.

"It's a plane if it wants 2 be!" Banana shouted.

"No," I whispered, feeling a sense of dread spread throughout me. "It's Villain!"

"Villain?" Crush said, eyes crinkling as he grinned. "L-O-L what kind of name is that?"

We all eyed him curiously, wondering if he was serious. He was oblivious. But that was what was sooo attractive about him. My adorable little simpleton.

"It is I, Villain," Villain announced, sweeping his coat behind him as he descended the stairs into the basement.

I glared at him. "WDYW?"

"What does that mean?" Crush asked.

"WDYW," I tried to answer, but only to find myself unable to form the actual words. "What. Do. You. Want. There that works."

Crush smiled at me. "Ur so smart, Lacey."

Lacey!! He called my Lacey! Be still, my beating heart!

"I'm here to help U," Villain said, doing what villains normally do and ruining a great moment.

"We could use all the help we can get, thnx," Mr. Kevin answered, going to shake Villain's hand.

I karate chopped it away. "No!"

"Srsly?" Mr. Kevin said.

"I'm a new person now," Villain promised. "U can trust me, Lace. I don't do crummy things NEmore."

I felt it in my gut that I couldn't trust him, Robo-D. You always trust your gut. Especially after you eat fast food tacos.

"U noobs are going to need all the help U can to survive this," Villain said, sauntering over to where Crush and I were standing. He went to place his hands on Crush's shoulders and I quickly yanked Crush away from him.

"Don't you dare fluff that duck," I hissed.

Banana seemed to nod in agreement. "I guess Crush is like a duck. I like it. More power to you, duckling!"

Villain held up his hands defensively. "Jealous, are we?"

"M-me j-jealous?" I spluttered, praying my face wasn't red.

"It's okay. Crush is urs," Villain teased.

Crush looked between us, his adorable eyes wide and confused. "I'm Lace's?"

"Crush doesn't belong to NYone!" Banana yelled.

I waved Banana off, not feeling her change-the-world attitude at the current moment. "It's nothing, Crush."

"It's a big, Crush," Villain chimed in.

This is why Villain is the villain. He is going to blow my secret love cover! He couldn't be the one to reveal my life long love to Crush. It had to be me.

A death glare match started between Villain and I. I knew he wanted something. He was evil. But I was scared to find out.

Now Freak Week has become ten times harder. Who knows what tomorrow will throw at me? I have to survive it and Villain. What do I do Robo-D? What do I do?!

GTG,

Five days and counting,

Lace

P.s somewhere the person who invented grammar is rolling in their grave and I deeply apologize to them.

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