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LILY

You know what I've been realizing?

I've been talking to myself.

Just telling you this story, having the amazing shrusassy narrate my story, I've been talking to myself.

Even now I'm talking to myself.

I meet James - I mean Potter - in the common room. I decide to bring up the matter.

"You know, James," I say. "I've been talking to myself lately, have you?"

"actually, yes," he replies. "I've been talking to myself so the amazing shrusassy can narrate a story starring me."

I shake my head. "It is actually starring me, shrusassy said so."

I find Marlene on the couch nearest to us. "No, its starring me. I'm wayyyy better than you two."

"No, it's starring ME!" Sirius exclaims, popping out of thin air.

"Woah, where did you come from?" I ask Sirius.

He shrugs. "Dunno."

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Peter asks.

"The story that obviously stars ME," I reply.

"Woah, Woah, Woah," Remus says. "It stars me, the amazing Remus Lupin, Shrusassy said so." He furrowed his eyebrows. "She also mentioned someone named Tonks and someone named Teddy. I think that she's going delusional."

"Yeah," James said. "She told me something about marrying the beautiful Evans, here, and we all know that is true" - I laughed at how bluntly he said it - "and, um, she said something else too. I can't remember."

"Wait," Peter interrupts. "We are in a story?"

"Yeah," Alice said, acting as if she was put out by his ignorance. "It obviously stars me."

"That's what you think," Sirius snapped.

"Why did I not know about this?" Peter wailed.

"Come on, guys, we all know that I am the star," I said.

"No, I am starring this story," James says.

"No, me," Remus argues.

"No, it is clearly me," Sirius says.

"It is I who stars," Alice declared melodramatically.

"Me," Marlene simply said.

Scarlett literally came out of thin air. "I AM THE STAR OF THIS STORY NARRATED BY THE AMAZING SHRUSASSY NOW DEAL WITH IT I WIN THIS ARGUMENT!"

"I'm still confused," Peter helplessly whined.